This weekend a fellow coach and I met for two hours to talk about anything and everything. I love those open ended, tangents welcome, here’s what I’m intrigued by right now conversations.

One of those tangents was the discussion of dating as a single parent, which we both have done, and what it was like to experience someone who told us “I’m not interested in dealing with all that.” We laughed as that is part of the single parent gig. And we know it is what it is.

Then our conversation progressed to what is socially thought of as banged up/damaged goods? Keep in mind banged up/damaged goods is common language that is easily understood. Obviously, individual perception is highly subjective and may or may not coincide with social norms. That said, it was interesting how we started to play the “would you be ok with this, or what if he/she had that”…game. An exploration of boundaries with regard to baggage.

What do you think?

We then progressed to coaching in relationship. My friend had an instructor who was a relationship coach that had been divorced multiple times, was single, and teaching on relationships. Naturally, our conversation went to where does that fit with regard to damaged goods. Honestly, it brings pause and then measurement. “Well, this person obviously has a lot of experience—let’s see if there is value here.”

I asked this question. In business, when an entrepreneur has two failed businesses under his or her belt, it is generally seen as a good thing--because they have experience. They know what it’s like to lose, pick themselves back up and build again. In fact, a green entrepreneur may be seen as unfit because they don’t have enough battle scars. On the contrary, in love if someone has two failed marriages and kids from multiple partners, they may be considered damaged goods.

What are your thoughts about that difference?

-NT

**Please note: This blog isn't about judgment, it’s simply a real conversation about real issues we deal with**