Let go and get going.

Change is one of the few constants in life. Whether you desire it or not, rest assured, change will happen. Some fight against it; others welcome it. Even when change is positive, we bemoan it. Everyone tends to be complacent from time to time; comfortable in our dysfunction and dissatisfaction.

When actively courting change, we sometimes become rigid in how we think about it. Tunnel vision occurs and we become entrenched in the way we approach our goals. Change WILL occur, but not always how or when we envision it.

I think of dreams and goals as “destinations,” that are by no means “final.” The only final destination is death and that’s not for certain. Oftentimes, the journey on the way to our destinations is where real change and growth occur.

We can plan goal itineraries, but as with physical travel, delays, setbacks and unforeseeable pitfalls arise. We can rail against it (just like the Type A’s one sees screaming at the airline customer service counter) or we can make the best of the situation and roll with it.

There is very rarely only one way to reach a goal. In fact, the more complex the goal, a more creative, multi-pronged tack is required. It’s easy to lose sight of our ultimate goal (”the where”) if we are sidetracked and insistent upon a particular methodology (”the how.”)

Usually, I like to take the shortest, most direct route when traveling (preferably in a first class leather seat with my cashmere throw, silk sleep mask, suede slippers and Alistair the airline attendant at my beck and call).

However, if that isn’t an option, complaining about how I’d like things to be won’t get me anywhere. I’d commandeer a Razor scooter from a toddler if I wanted to reach my destination badly enough. It’s not as posh nor as fast, but it WILL get me there and that’s the point.

We overlook opportunities that would help us reach our goals because they are novel and/or not how we think things “should” be done. Whenever you catch yourself “should-ing,” consider the possibility that you are adopting a childish stance. We also “get it right,” but “get it wrong.”

The overall goal is good and attainable (e.g., being in a loving committed relationship or working in a particular field), but choose a non-viable venue (e.g., choosing a woman who cannot reciprocate affection or a company that doesn't foster professional development.) I call this the “right neighborhood-wrong house” phenomenon.

Remain committed to your goal, but don’t become fixated on how to get there. Life throws curve balls. We can continue being thumped on the head or learn how to field them. When one path doesn’t take you to a goal (or becomes too costly- financially and/or emotionally), it’s time to let go and get on a different path. For some, the traditional routes just don’t work and that’s ok.
Creativity and flexibility are key elements of effective problem-solving and goal setting. I encourage you to go off the beaten path. The road less traveled is where I have learned and accomplished the most.

The how isn’t important. Learn from it, have fun with it and let the journey take you where you want to go. It’s difficult to embrace the new whilst holding on tightly to the past and/or preconceived ideas about how you “must” arrive to your future.