A friend of mine had been dying to set me up with her friend for months. Finally we went out on a Saturday night. I had what turned out to be a lavish sushi dinner beforehand, then met up with her for coffee at 11pm (I have rarely ever done this, but for some reason when I go on dates that start after 10:30pm they’re always a lot of fun).

We had a great conversation at the Urth Cafe, then sat out on her roof staring at the stars. It was all a very mental connection, so on a whim I took her hand and simply explored touching our hands. I slowly let go and she said, “Don’t stop!” and I was glad to hear it so I continued. Long story short, we ended up making out. I thought about how great the date was as I walked home. And yet I could feel the chemistry was not fully there. In a very egotistical way I thought to myself that she must have been very into me. Ha! How vain of me!

I thought perhaps the chemistry might grow so I asked her out again. Besides, I really liked talking to her. I took her to sushi and we went back to her place. I didn’t know what to do. I was still on the fence. Could I end it now? Could we stay friends? What do I do? We made out again and I was going to go home and think about it later (typical guy, right?). But then she said, “We both seem to be hesitating here.” I agreed. I certainly was. Then she went on to describe what she was feeling and it was exactly what I was feeling! What a relief. We both agreed this was not meant to be a romance, and suddenly all this pressure was gone and we could just laugh and laugh, lying there arm in arm.

We agreed that we both have a lot of respect for each other and would like to be friends as we stay in each other’s social circles.

She showed me that sometimes honesty is the best policy. And she did it with charm and grace. I realize that I must be honest, even if it risks hurting someone. At minimum it saves time, but it can also lead to a great friendship.