I raise my hand and admit, I Pam Thomas was a blamer and past dweller. Yep, that’s right; I used to blame everything that went wrong in my life on things that happened in my past. If I was having a crappy day it had to be because Auntie So-and-So looked at me sideways when I was five. If I wanted to do something, but was scared to try, it surely had to be because my best friend called me “fat” when I was 13.

Then it happened.

I was sat on the floor of my apartment with my fiancé (now ex-husband) bitching and moaning about something not going right. As I recall it, I was actually placing blame on my parents for something they said or did when I was a teenager. Then all of the sudden my fiancé looked at me and asked, “Pam, are you an adult?” “Yes,” I said. To which he replied, “Then when are you going to start taking responsibility for your own actions?”

Wow! That was just the 2x4 I needed to dislodge my head from my posterior, to knock me sideways, and force me into the land of the present. You mean I have a choice? You mean I don’t have to stay stuck in the past?

Fast forward to today. I am here to tell you that it is quite a relief to release the past. (Besides it really sucks carrying around tons of past wounds, etc…. not to mention rather heavy.) It is empowering to know that I have choices. I can choose to respond to certain situations any way I wish. It’s my choice and no body else’s.

Let me ask you; is there something from your past that is holding you back? Is there something from your past that is causing you great pain?

If the answer is “yes”, then let me ask you this, how is holding on to whatever is holding you back (or hurting you) supporting you in the here and the now?

If you’re ready to let go and put the past behind you here are few things to try:

*Write a “let it rip” letter to anyone who has hurt you. Get it all out. Then rip the letter to shreds or burn it.

*Look for any good things that you can take away from a past experience. Anything beneficial that could be used to support you.

*Talk with someone you trust and brainstorm ways in which you can get clear of the past.

*Be aware. When you feel yourself tapping into past hurt or blaming past experiences, stop and remember, you have choices.

Here’s to kicking the past in the behind. Here’s to your forward movement and the awesome choices YOU get to make.