Judging the judgments

I marked a recent life transition by getting a tattoo. For me, this was HUGE. I use to pride myself on never having done anything that moved me outside of "the box." Well, I have made so many shifts lately that I cannot even find "the box" anymore. I put a lot of thought into the tattoo -- weeks actually. I weighed placement, growing old with it, and ultimately the design I wanted. I chose my recently designed logo -- an elephant emerging from a lotus flower signifying compassion and wisdom rising from that which is in this place but not of it.

After getting the tattoo I stopped at the store to get ointment to cover it and in front of me at the checkout was a woman buying cigarettes. I pride myself on being non-judgmental, but in this moment I realized that subconsciously I have thoughts of judgment more than I would like to admit. That's why I never left "the box,” I didn't want to be judged. In "the box" I THOUGHT I was safe.

I sent the woman love and light. I don't make the choice to smoke, but she didn't deserve to be judged because she wants to. I move a little more gingerly now, wondering what people think of me and my tattoo. And I'm quicker to offer alternative perspectives when someone is openly judging another.

Phrases like, "not to judge that person," and "it's her life, she can do what she wants," leave our lips regularly, but do we really mean it? Most people would agree that how you feel is more important than what you say.

By being someone who is now labeled (and people have definite feelings about tattoos and those that have them), I am more accepting from a feeling place when someone is expressing themselves in a way that truly only affects them.