How To Turn Someone Down

Posted by Poet on January 16, 2008 1:19 PM PST

Recommend this? YES NO

Step 1: Make yourself unattractive - If you haven't the heart to reject someone outright, you may be able to put them off before they have the chance to ask. Find a dance floor and get down with it- incredibly badly. Or develop some disgusting habits when they're certainly looking. If you've been trapped in a corner, create some distance or erect a barrier between the two of you, so they can't get near enough to make physical contact. Pretend to be drunk as this is not only unattractive, but it can also be used as an excuse for being confused when they try to ask you out, or as a reason to run to the toilets. If they're still there when you come back, pretend you've been sick, rendering you unkissable.

Step 2: The white lie - Despite your efforts they're still looking keen. Now might be the time to tell a few untruths. Claim you have a boyfriend, grab your nearest male friend and drape yourself all over him. If there are no useful men nearby, find a female friend to introduce him to, or ask for some advice on how to chat up that sexy looking man at the bar. Perhaps you're just coming out of a long-term relationship and aren't yet ready for another. WARNING - Saying 'I'm not ready for a relationship' may just encourage the other person to wait for you, so avoid this excuse if you think they've got the potential to become a stalker.

Step 3: The big lie - If you still haven't convinced them or found a way out, you might need to get more creative with your excuses. You didn't mean to be misleading, but you don't like boys that way. You also only go out with people of the same religious denomination... which is a very rare one. Still not working?

Step 4: Be direct - Nothing you say is getting through. You're about to start a stretch in jail, but they want to visit. You're dying, but they're an undertaker. At this point, you're probably trying to leave the building. Get your message across by being as honest as possible, without being too blunt about how unattractive, boring or unhygienic they are. Don't prolong their agony by saying yes and giving them the wrong number, or giving them your number and ignoring all calls and texts.

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5 Comments

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and go straight to step 4. I've found that nothing else works. Maybe it's different for guys and girls. Since guys are usually the aggressors, little white lies just aren't big enough to deter testosterone off its chosen path to pain. I've actually said the words, "I'm not sexually attracted to you, " and some chump turned it against me as though that was a problem I could deal with on my own time. "I hate you, you disgust me, and stay away," could all cause sexual arousal in a man if the woman looks fetching when she's angry. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me that he fell in love with me the first time I yelled at him to go away (which had to be the day after I met him) We stayed together for two years so steps 1-3, and even step 4 didn't work. Anyway, be direct. be calm. don't let them get their claws into you and don't give away any emotion that allows the person getting dumped to twist things up in their twisted little heads. A harder thing to do is to tell someone that they're not sexually gratifying when they think their Ron Jeremy or something...it's like, "you so do NOT need magnums! I had to say that too....self-delusion is a bitch!

Save everyone the agony. Also, hiding in the bathroom and sneaking out with a group of people can be effective.

Now that is actually funny!!! Give us the full story Lela... ;-)

I really like step four! Amanda is right, little white lies don't always work, but sometimes encourage people! They might think it is a game and that you are playing hard to get! Honesty really is the best, let's all strive for the direct approach!