Another St. Patrick’s Day is here and you wanted to do something…well…a little different. You get the bright idea that you want to start a bar fight and ponder the options…

One thing you could do is head over to the local pub where you know that soccer hooligans happen to frequent. All you need to do is determine the country of origin (ideally Irish since it is St. Patty’s Day) and strike up a conversation with one of these openers:

If Irish: “It’s too bad that the English are so much better at soccer, isn’t it?”

If English: “Isn’t it a shame that the Australians play soccer so much better than the Premier League?”

And to any soccer fan not from the States: “Don’t you think it’s ridiculous that the rest of the world thinks that soccer can even hold a candle to the NFL?”

After you’ve upset the foreign population, you can alienate your fellow countrymen just as easily! Simply find a bar full of New England Patriots fans and try one of these beauties:

“18-1!”

“It’s too bad that the NFL will figure out all of the ways the Pats have been cheating all these years really soon!”

“How ‘bout them New York Giants?”

“Do you think Tom Brady can ever compare to Eli Manning?”

Of course, you don’t even need to be that creative. Simply find any sports bar and announce to the entire place that the team the majority follows stinks!

Now before all of you sensitive types flame me with comments keep two things in mind – first, I don’t condone violence in any way, shape, or form! Secondly, grow a sense of humor, it’s a great stress buster!