I have the good fortune to spend meaningful time with a lot of smart women who keep me on track about what’s going on in women’s lives. One topic that resonates with many of these women (and with me) is the idea of busyness. This issue is of great interest in my Women’s Learning Circles. Not being busy, for many of us, seems elusive – almost selfish. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a career woman, or – like most women I know – wearing both hats, you’ve probably been well indoctrinated with the idea that you must stay busy – all day, every day, no matter what. Why?

In The Power of Purpose, author Richard Leider says “since busyness is a status symbol in our society, even our leisure time is heavily scheduled. It keeps our mind very busy with no time for listening to the inner voice.” Sometimes that inner voice we’re not hearing wants to give us advice. Sometimes it wants to ask us questions.

If we stay busy all the time, we can’t hear this inner voice and can’t find time to ponder some of the “big” questions: What brings me passion? What increases my energy? The first two answers that come to my mind are sex and more sleep! Other important questions might include: What do I value most? What are my gifts and how can I use them? What are my priorities? What am I doing to take care of myself, be of service, be fully alive? If I were living 100% authentically, what would that look like? What gives me a creative spark?

There was a time in my life when I could not answer these questions, and that terrified me. I was not fulfilled professionally. I was tired and bored and felt out of sync with the rest of the world. Looking back, I realize that I stayed in this mode for too long because I did not have solutions to create changes and I didn’t give myself the time and space to listen to my inner voice.

Did I have ideas percolating during this time? Yes! I thought about how I enjoyed working with women, watching them process their lives and come up with great ideas and solutions with the help of other bright, supportive women. There was a lot of energy around this for me. The thoughts fueled me. Years ago, I was a member of a Women’s Circle and I enjoyed it tremendously. But, again, I was too busy being busy to take action on this idea that intrigued me so.

I had my first child at the age of forty. When my son Jack and daughter Jenna were born (now five and three, respectively) I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. Having children has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. In being a mother, I am the student and my children teach me about life every day.

As much as I loved being a stay-at-home mom, I knew that in order to be fulfilled I’d ultimately need to integrate that role with having a career. For me, the way to do that was having my own business – like I had before – but this time around it’s a business that I am passionate about. I’m doing work I love with people I care about and I feel fully engaged with this process. Am I busy? You bet! But what I’ve learned is that it’s not about being busy – it’s about being busy doing work that is meaningful.

For you, finding the “right kind of busy” may mean having a demanding career, staying home with your children, doing valuable volunteer work, or embarking on something wildly creative. It may mean balancing and integrating several things. Is your work at home, in your career, or in your community adding significance, purpose, and meaning to your life?

It is vital that we as women take the time to explore what provides us with meaning, energy, and passion. Whether we are married or unmarried, with children or without, we all have the same number of hours in the day. We can spend those hours doing things that energize us.

My hope is that this story will give you some solutions to help you find, reflect upon, and respect your own thoughts and ideas about where your journey is leading you.

Be Well,

Joy Chudacoff
Certified Professional Coach
Smart Women Smart Solutions
Coaching & Consulting for Women
310-577-8011
www.smartwomensolutions.com