Any relationship that you’re going to be in, and every one I’ve ever been through, is going to come with ups and downs. These downs are mostly highlighted by those fights that last for days try the patience and the energy of one or both parties. I’m a firm believer that anyone who says they never fight is in a hugely dysfunctional relationship, but that doesn’t mean constant fighting is normal either. So how do you reconcile the occasional fight?

By using logic and following a few steps, you two will be out of the arena and back in the bedroom in no time.

1. Decide on Your Intended Outcome: Let’s play choose your own adventure, shall we? If you want to break up with her, skip to number 7. If you wish to stay in the relationship, continue on to number 2.

2. Stay as Calm as Possible: Generally if it’s gotten to the level of a fight, you're mad as hell and you're not gonna take it anymore, but that’s something you should keep to yourself. It might make you feel better for about 5 minutes to angrily air your grievances and tell them every little thing you’ve held back, but that has no chance of resulting in a positive outcome. Calm Down, relax, and no matter what the other person says be rational and don’t escalate the problem.

3. Never Bring Up How Much Money You’ve Spent on Them: I don’t care if you bought them a 3 Million Dollar Bugatti Veyron this is the worst thing imaginable. Learn from my mistakes folks, I still only have 30% vision in my left eye.

4. Don’t be Abusive: Don’t get mean and please, please don’t listen to Olivia Newton John, it's never acceptable to get physical, physical so don’t listen to your body talk, body talk and cross the line into hitting or pushing. This goes for being verbally abusive, too; insulting someone isn’t a good way to make your point.

5. How Much do You Care About Winning? It may be of pivotal importance to you that you go on an innocent vacation with your single friends, though your significant other is unlikely to agree. Sometimes though, you’re buddy scores front row seats to a Springsteen concert the night you’re supposed to have dinner with her parents. Decide if your point is worth fighting for, if it’s not it’s usually best to just concede in order to get on with your day.

6. Give Yourself Time to Cool Off: Sometimes it helps to talk it through right away and follow the “never go to bed angry” logic, but that rule is one that’s made to be broken. Anger can take time to subside, and oftentimes time is the only thing that’s going to fix it. Give the other person their space, calm down and think it through on your own before doing anything rash, after all impulse can be your worst nightmare.

7. Relationships Are a Lot Like Poker: OK, no they aren’t. But sometimes, as the Gambler himself, Kenny Rogers, says, “you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em” and sometimes it’s time to fold ‘em. If you do decide to end it make it swift, get out and try not to leave any hurt feelings behind (yeah, right.)

8. Once It’s Over, It’s Over: The bad feelings have subsided, you still love each other and everything is A-OK. So forget it. Completely and totally forget the fight and NEVER bring it up again otherwise you’re likely to just compound the whole stupid thing and the next small fight you have will turn into about 12 small fights at once. Now, if you’re a girl it’s time to stop reading because I promise I’m done. If you’re a guy though, I have one point to make.

Gentlemen… you know as well as I do that she’s going to bring it up again. Over and over and over again. You also know that she’s going to follow none of the advice above. So boys, for us, the real way to end a fight? Hang out with the guys at the bar for a few hours, come home, tell her you reflected on the situation and realized she was right.

Fighting is, of course, inevitable in any relationship. Two people can’t get along 100% of the time and agree on anything and everything that comes up. The real trick is making sure that the fight stays minor and that nobody is hurt at the end of it.