How to Complicate Life

Really? You need
instructions on how to make life more complicated? It’s quite simple. The most effective way is to never say no. Agree to everything that everyone asks of you
and then stress yourself out by trying to do everything you promised. Add in some personal time and hobbies and you
have yourself a bunch of sleepless nights, stressful days, and a complicated
life. Who wants things to be easy
anyways!?

You can always try to alienate everyone you come into
contact with as well. Argue with your
coworkers, your boss, your children’s teachers, your spouse, and total
strangers. Get nasty with the server
that is taking your lunch order. Talk
trash to the barista making your morning coffee. Get mouthy with the cashier at the grocery
store. To make this completely
effective, go back to these same people every day and continually be a callous
moron. Talk about complicated, you’ll be
lucky not to get poisoned!

You can also complicate your life financially. Stop paying your bills and go out to the bars
and party! When your spouse begins to
nag you, tell them to go get bent. Let
the banks come get your car and house. Now you’ll have all the money you need for hotel rooms and beer! You can always eat happy hour food so you
won’t need to shop and just drop your laundry off at your mother’s every week
so you won’t have to deal with it.

Sound ridiculous? We
all do equally ridiculous things that complicate our lives without even
realizing it. Many “forget” to eat
right, “don’t have time” to exercise, and are too tired to take care of the
house. We get caught up in everyday
trivialities and neglect keeping in touch with friends and loved ones and would
rather complain instead of taking one small hour out of our days for ourselves.

How do you complicate your life?