How to Break Free of Others’ Expectations

People are going to have expectations of you. There’s nothing you can do about it. So what? So your sister doesn’t like your khakis? So your mother thinks you could do better in the romance department? So your friends want you to spend every Friday listening to their complaints. So what? Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what others expect of you, but how your react to those expectations. And what’s worse than other people’s expectations? Your own, disguised as someone elses!

Perfectionism & Role Play

To review: the danger isn’t in the expectations. It’s only when we buy into those expectations and try to fulfill them, try to please everyone. However, sometimes the attempt to live up to others’ expectations is really an attempt to be perfect. Once you really, truly, honestly KNOW that nobody can be perfect, you can quit trying. That is the freedom from expectations.

Maybe you don’t think you’re striving for perfection, but categorical perfection is also impossible. If you attempt to be the Perfect Mother, Perfect Friend, Perfect Husband, you will fail. Imperfection is the human condition. Placing too much importance on a given role can lead to overemphasizing the functions associated with that role.

So chill out and before you react negatively to another’s expectation of you ask yourself two things:

1. Is it them, or is it me who expects a certain behavior from me?
2. So what? What if I don’t comply? What if I fail?

I assure you, this world will not stop spinning.