GRIEF: How to Help a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One

Death is difficult for some, easier for others. Your best bet is to be straightforward and honest about how you are feeling. They are probably just as confused as you are in terms of what they need. Someone who has experienced a loss will go through a variety of different emotions and may need different types of support at different times.

The best thing you can do is ask them how you can support them and/or let them know that you are there to support them in whatever way that they need. Sometimes your friend may want to talk about their feelings. Sometimes they may want to get away from focusing on the loss.

Don’t be afraid to ask them what they need. Ask them if they want to talk about it. Ask them if they’d like to get away and do something to get their mind off of it. They will tell you. They just want to know that they have support should they need it…that someone is there sharing their loss by being there for them.

Examples of what you might say to a friend in need:

1. I am sorry for your loss; I feel terrible that you are going through this. How can I best support you? Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to give you some space and you can call me when you are ready?

2. I want you to know that I am here for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. I know that you may need different things at different times. I want you to know that you can just call me and let me know what you need when you need it. If you’d like, I can check in with you every couple of days and see if you need to talk or need to get away…

3. I’m sorry for your loss and want you to know that I am here for you in any way that you need. I am here if you need someone to vent to. If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to. Whatever you want…just know that I am here and all you have to do is ask.