I was dating M at the end of last year and we agreed to simply be present in the moment and not define the relationship. One day she had enough of it, and asked me to be totally clear on what I wanted. I retreated into the catacombs of my mind and proceeded to completely stress out. I could only see the negatives... What if I commit and then realize I don't want to be in the relationship? Then I might hurt her and totally lose her as a friend as well. And what if I don't commit and she leaves my life entirely, and I'm completely alone?

I was in a sea of negativity until I spoke with a coach about it. We both discerned that I was speaking from a voice that I had over a decade ago. I actually felt immature in my voice and in my body. We talked it through so I could get to a place where I was talking as a man and not a boy. From that place I realized that whether I'm with her or without her, my life will be great. And now I simply have to make a choice.

I chose to be with her, and I asked her for a committed relationship. What happened next was fascinating. I found that I had been using a huge amount of energy sitting on the fence. I was constantly thinking about how I felt about her, at times judging her. I was thinking about other women and entertaining the idea of seeing them. I was constantly thinking (and stressing) about all of this). When I decided to commit, I felt the weight of all that thought fall off. I felt so much lighter. I felt clear.

It was great to realize how much of a sense of freedom can come from committing to something or someone.