In my last comment I told you that I still struggle with my insecurities. Sometimes I feel like your girlfriend does. Although my confidence has been kicked up a couple notches since high school, the battle beween the shy and the sexy girl stil continues.

I remember a couple of months ago I woke up next to the guy I'm currently dating. I started thinking, "OMG, I probably look like crap right now," Lol. I ran to the mirror to try and tame my hair when I heard him walk up behind me. As he he saw me look into the mirror with dissatisfaction, he asked "babe, what do you see when you look in the mirror?" I really had no answer for him. I just shrugged. Since I didn't respond he just held there for a minute. And right then, I felt beautiful again.

When she tells u thats she's not pretty, combat it with your love. And I know you feel drained. But If you care about her enough, it will be worth it. You will see her develop into someone you always knew was there. People come into our lives for a reason. There's a reason you're in hers.

That sounds like pretty good advice to me, Betty. I find myself getting impatient. Telling her the same thing over and over again. Wondering why she just doesn't get it. Trying to have more compassion for the experiences that sapped her of any self-awareness and strength. At times, it feels draining because it feels as though there's an I.V. connecting me to her and I'm feeding her my bone marrow in the most genuine and caring way I can. And then I get a little pissed and annoyed that she's draining me with all her stuff. And maybe I'm pissed at her or maybe I'm pissed at myself for getting pissed off at her. Because deep down I know it's not her fault that's she's so unsure of herself and it doesn't cost me anything to be more patient while she'll be gaining so much more in the end because a true sense of self has more value than gold.

She'll see it one day, I gotta keep that hope alive.

Thanks B.

Thanks Amanda

I don't really know what kind of advice I can give you for your girlfriend. Perhaps you should try to find out where her insecurities come from. I was insecure because I didn't fit in. I had just moved to the United States two years prior this and I always felt different and out of place. Tenth grade was the year that I decided that being different was okay. That what made me even more beautiful was that I was different. Believe me, I still struggle with my insecurities. In a world where women are told that "real beauty," is what is seen on the cover of a magazine, it's hard to feel pretty. But she's luck to have a supportive girlfriend like you. Keep telling her how beautiful and sexy she is and maybe one day, she'll see what you see. Give her time. She'll get there.

It put a smile on my face as I read it. Every woman can relate. So what made you decide to shift from shy girl to sexy girl? Was that a big hurdle to overcome? I have a 25 year old girlfriend who doesn't think she's pretty. I've been trying to help her see herself as she really is. Any suggestions Betty?

Thanks for telling this tale. I liked it. We hear a lot about issues of body image but rarely do we hear stories about people who have come to accept the way they look and are proud of it. This story is a great reminder of how wonderful it feels to look good, feel good and be proud.