Feeling Stuck in your life? The Connection between Change, Coaching and Essential Oils!

By Annie Gelfand, MBA, CPCC, PCC, Certified Professional Executive, Life & Relationship Coach

The following is an excerpt from a book call “You Squared” by Price Pritchett.

“There’s
a small fly burning out the last of its short life’s energies in a
futile attempt to fly through the glass of the windowpane. The whining
wings tell the poignant story the fly’s strategy – try harder.

But it’s not working.

The
frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle
is part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to
succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect
has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and
determination.

This fly is doomed. It will die there on the windowsill.

Across
the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Then second of flying time
and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With
only a faction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this
self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be
so easy.

Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something
dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that
this particular route, and determined effort, offer the most promise
for success? What logic is there in continuing, until death, to seek a
breakthrough with “more of the same”?

No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it’s an idea that will kill it.

“Trying
harder” isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not
offer any real promise for giving what you want out of life. Sometimes,
in fact, it’s a big part of the problem.

If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.”

Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

So - What are you doing over and over again and it is simply not working?

Take
a moment now to think about the areas of your life where you are simply
trying too hard. Statistics Canada reports that 44% of Canadians are
trying to do too many things at once. Women in particular are more
likely to suffer from stress than men. Women tend to feel more pressure
from time restrictions, others' expectations, marital relationships,
children and family health.

WHAT HAS US RESIST CHANGE?
Even
the smallest stressor can trigger a cascade of chemical reactions in
the brain and body that assault us from within. John Carpi, a writer
with Psychology Today wrote, “Stress is the psychological equivalent of
ragweed. Once the body becomes sensitized to pollen or ragweed, it
takes only the slightest bloom in spring or fall to set off the
biochemical alarm that results in runny noses, watery eyes, and the
general misery of hay fever. But while only some of us are genetically
programmed to be plagued with hay fever, all of us have the capacity to
become sensitized to stress.”

Stressors are triggered when we
get emotionally hijacked (remember my last article on Emotional
Hijack?). When we become hijacked, we dig our heels in for dear life.
Change? No way! We feel way too threatened to change what we are doing,
even when what we are doing is not working.

Coaching is a
particularly intimate relationship that is consciously designed by both
parties taking equal responsibility for the health of the relationship.
In the Coaches Training Instititute’s model, the coach empowers the
relationship, the client empowers the relationship and in turn, the
relationship empowers the client to make the changes that they came to
coaching for. The relationship is the all powerful change catalyst.
Together, coach and client walk hand in hand objectively exploring the
world of resistance, change, fulfillment and living wildly wet in the
river of life.

So what is the connection between trying change, coaching and essential oils?

The
bottom line is, clients come to coaches for change. Trying too hard is
a symptom of something bigger. What is underneath trying so hard? What
would it take for that fly to stop and take a risk to do something
different? The fact is that if he does not do something different, he
is doomed because it is not working. Trying harder will not save him.
So we want change. Or do we? When we come face to face with making
change, we stress out! Every single atom in our bodies screams “NO!”
it’s not safe!”, “No! I don’t want to change! I am afraid of change!”

Essential
oils help soothe that emotional part of us resistant to change. They
help us to embrace change in order to move forward powerfully and
successfully. It is my job as a coach to investigate that resistance
with my client and separate the gremlin that is holding us hostage to
status quo, from the heart within driving us to the bigger life we
desire.

Gabriel Mojay wrote an excellent reference book called
“Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit” . To soothe anxiety and worry, he
suggests essential oils that are grounding, such as Vetiver and
Sandalwood and Frankincense to deeply calm the mind. For those of us
who over think, he suggests the blend of Geranium, Sandalwood and
Patchouli. Of course when speaking about essential oils and anxiety,
one cannot neglect the favorite and most well known oil, Lavender.
Combined with Neroli and Bergamot, this blend helps calm the heart.
Melissa is especially suited to highly sensitive people who are more
introspective and may find confrontation difficult.

Take a
moment to really truly take stock of where you are simply trying too
hard and not getting the results you want. Where are you that fly in
your own life? A friend once said to me “If you do what you’ve always
done, you get what you’ve always got”. To get different results in your
life, you need to do something different. Maybe even something
radically different. Stop throwing yourself at the windowsill to make a
breakthrough. Hire a coach, breathe in some essential oils to soothe
your heart, and then, watch out world!

Copyright 2007-2008 Tammy Anne Gelfand, Centre For Life Essentials, All Rights Reserved. For more information, please call (705) 742-7475. email info@life-essentials.com or visit www.life-essentials.com