One way to catch a wild monkey is to put a cage in the jungle with a banana inside and narrow spaces between the bars. Monkeys instinctively want bananas. They grab every banana they can get, and stubbornly will not let go. So the wild monkey reaches its hand into the cage, grabs the banana, and cannot remove its hand. The monkey wants to escape from the cage, but it is not willing to let go of the banana. The banana is more important than freedom.

Like monkeys, we may use our power of choice to not make a choice. We would rather hold onto the life we have, than reach for the life we want. Consider, for example, a mother with young children who is in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic or drug-addicted husband or live-in partner. She wants to leave to be free of the abuse and protect her children. But she is unwilling to give up the house, the financial support, and the fading memories of good times long past. Those are her bananas. She chooses to remain caught in the relationship (the cage) as life goes by one day at a time. To this woman, the appearance of family life and financial support are more important than freedom and the safety of her children. I call such situations the aroma phenomena: We know it stinks, but we get accustomed to the smell.

Too often we spend considerable time solving problems that never should have occurred in the first place. Each of us chooses how we will use, or not use, our power of choice. Maybe we should take a really close look at the value of the bananas that we are holding on to. Those bananas may be dragons that are destroying our happiness and success. What bananas stop you from making the choices and changes that you otherwise would like to make in your life?

To have what we really want tomorrow, we may
have to let go of a few things that we have today.