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Does size matter?
Sep 18th
Many sexperts say that size doesn't matter. However, a self-proclaimed minimally-endowed gay man assured me that for homosexuals, size counts…a lot.
While he proclaims to compensate for his lack of size with creativity and compassion, he still feels embarrassed, especially when he first becomes intimate with someone. He really just wishes another guy could love the whole package.
Hearing this, I do sympathize with him, and salute his self-confidence and creativity, but just like all of the fabulous people out there with fat butts, saggy boobs, hairy backs, bald heads, and every other socially-unacceptable body trait, I urge him to love his weenie as much as he loves himself. If we don't, we end up contributing to the lie that all bodies must look a certain way or be banished from the land of desire. Who decided what was "desirable" anyway? And why does everyone believe it?
I'll tell you why: because people are lemmings. Which means if YOU act like it's sexy, THEY will act like it's sexy, and if you act embarrassed, so will they. Yes, there will be those too caught up in the hype to appreciate you, but I don't believe we care about those people.
At the end of the day, you want someone who's concerned with the size of your love and your filthy mind, not with you being able to take out ten adults in a crowded room should you accidentally become aroused. So get to know each other a bit, and walk, don't run to nakedville, and love every inch of your fine self.
Its important to get to know each other a bit, and walk, don't run to nakedville, and love every inch of your fine self.
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There is always someone better looking, more hair (easy for me to say), better body, and all the other stuff. At the end of the day - you have to believe you are great. As an example I have never, EVER had a good head of hair - not even in high school. I hated it. I had to put 'stuff' in my hair, hated being in convertibles, etc.. At 24, I decided, enoughs, enough - I shaved it. I have been shaving it for 9 years now. As you say Jen - love yourself - no matter what you are.
Another good reason to quit smoking...
A friend of mine in NY recently quit smoking. I was blown away because he was the type to wake up in the middle of the night for a cigarette.
I asked him about the benefits he noticed. He gave me the standard answers: more stamina, increased energy etc.
But I noticed some apprehension in his voice as though there was something he wanted to add, but second-guessed himself on. As I prodded, he blurted, "I think it got bigger..."
Never one to anyone get away with being vague, I insisted he explain himself. To sum up, my friend believes that both length and girth were added to his favorite member.
I asked him if his girlfriend agreed, as I understand how men are prone to wishful thinking when it comes to this subject.
Yup. The girlfriend definitely agreed!!!
"I'm going to have to ponder this one all day, " I said and with that I hung up the phone.
I was asked this question on more than one occasion while I was still practicing psychotherapy by both men and women. Here’s the long and the short of it; yes, size matters. However, size preference is highly subjective and varies from person to person. What's too much for some may be too little for others. My preference is different from that of my best friend; just as we have different food preferences.
When entering into a relationship, I’d hope that most are interested in the total package, not just the guy’s package. For long-term overall relationship satisfaction, I think a man’s heart size is far more important than his shoe size and, subsequently, penis size (trite as it sounds). Then again, if you’re just looking for a good time, I suppose these caveats don’t apply.
Furthermore, penis size has nothing to do with being a good sexual partner. Attentiveness and communication (physical and verbal) are essential components to being a good lover. Many women don’t reach climax by penetration. Most reach climax via clitoral stimulation. There are also different positions couples may employ whereby they can deepen penetration, no matter the size. If you’re in a loving, healthy relationship, I encourage you to discuss these matters with your partner(s).
For men, oftentimes feelings of overall inadequacy and insecurity may lead you to feel that you “don’t measure up.” I would venture to guess it’s more pervasive than the size question and recommend you examine these issues and underlying causes.
For women, there isn’t a “perfect” penis size, but rather, whatever works for you. Once you figure that out and can communicate it clearly, everything else should fall into place.