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To develop a healthy romantic life
I've been alone/lonely for far too long. I've let the fear of rejection and disapproval run my life to the point where I have almost no friends, and haven't experienced love since I was a teenager. I'm sick of being alone, and letting fear dictate my actions.
The best way to help is to offer advice and support. Offering tips on how to be more outgoing socially, how to overcome or work through the fear, and ways to develop social skills that I've forgotten or never really knew. It would be really helpful if you provided exercises that I can do, or mantras I can adopt that will help me. I'm committed to reaching my goal, I'm just not entirely sure of where to start or what to do.
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Ever hear the one about Hercules and his fight with the Hydra, a 9-headed beast? This monstrous serpent was immortal because each time Hercules got the slightest taste of victory by miraculously cutting off one of the Hydra's frightful heads, another one would immediately appear in it's place; which is about as daunting and depressing as it gets! Like any story, there are several variations but the one I like the best says that Hercules was victorious only after he stopped trying so hard. It took much more strength of character and courage for our hero to kneel down in this muddy cave and surrender before his greatest fear/challenge. By doing so, he realized that he could lift this monster (symbolic of those deep, dark fears that we're unconscious of--and so they're the most frightening) into the light and thus overcome this recurring nightmare in the light of illumination. So for starters, set the intention to come face-to-face with your own personal Hydra. We've all got one; you're ahead of others because you've already named it: fear of rejection and disapproval. Now what is underneath that and where did it come from? How did it serve/protect you and why don't you need it (that false belief) anymore? Make your peace with that, truly, and every good quality that you've ever held back will naturally unfold and you will simply BE more outgoing and social without worrying about HOW you do it. Stop worrying, in fact, find reasons to relax and do reward yourself for your desire to change by having fun and enjoying life. The best mantras come from within. Deprogram by flipping every negative statement you tell yourself into a more positive and concise affirmation. It's not easy because you have to consistently catch yourself and more importantly, be easy on yourself when you do catch yourself slipping into outdated modes of thought in order to better understand why you have those beliefs as a crutch to begin with. Everyone strives for a healthy, romantic life and for more fulfilling relationships; so be encouraged because you're certainly not alone.