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Dating--Who Pays?
Mature men and women who are dating have many questions about money. The most frequent question from men is how to avoid always picking up the tab.
There are four easy steps to learn and follow:
Step 1: First determine the occasions that you can imagine choosing to "pick up the tab”.
Step 2: Recognize that it is important to address this issue at the time you ask someone for the date.
Step 3: Develop phrases that sound like you and accurately convey what you mean to say.
Step 4: It is perfectly acceptable to say that something is too expensive for you at this time or to suggest an alternative that is more in your price range.
When it comes to money, honesty and a forthright attitude is the best policy. It is essential to become willing and able to discuss money and finances whenever you decide it is in your best interest to do so!
Money is on everybody’s mind anyway. Believe it or not, most people will be relieved and appreciative. If you run into the occasional person who is affronted or insulted, please, oh, please, let it be about them. Do not take that on as being about you.
This is a skill that you can learn. You can become fluent and comfortable talking about money. Experiment with this a few times and let me know how it is going.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
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Hi Amanda:
Your Dad was very wise. It is often a good idea to offer to split the tab with someone you are dating, especially for the first few dates.
Also, it is a good practice to decide where you are going and to let your date know that it is your intention to split the bill before you go to the restaurant; and certainly before you arrive at the restaurant; rather than after you get there; the menu is in your hand; and you find out that the prices are going to break the bank.
And bravo! Good conversation and excellent listening are definitely the way to an exciting evening!
Take care…
Dr. Jackie
...and about to go on my first date (some movie at the mall,) my dad cautioned that I should always offer to split the tab so that the young man would have no expectations. I've made it a rule and as a result, it's easier to talk about money. Guys like it when I offer. Some even remark how rare it is that a woman does that. Few take me up on my offer and most just say, "I got it!"
I've been on dates however where it was an incredible sushi restaurant, in an incredible part of town, and with an incredibly pricey menu! The guy is ordering everything on the menu and I'm thinking, "there's no way I'm offering to split this." When this happens, I usually find a subtle way of making my discomfort known while at the same time gently conveying that $2-300 dinner isn't going to "loosen me up." Good conversation and mutual attraction does that. I'm not impressed by big spenders.
"Are you sure?" I ask. "Yeah, order whatever you want." Music to my ears...I think I like you more already....:P
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