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Is it ok to notice and comment on a stunningly beautiful feature?
Or is just awkward?
I am pleased to report that I’m friends with The Funniest Person in the World. I can't be in his house for more than ten minutes without finding myself clinging helplessly to furniture, banging my head against the wall or doubled over as if I'm begging for someone to kick me. He's been happily married for over 15 years to a woman who is very sweet, but who has the sense of humor of a dishrag. While the rest of us are teary-eyed, red-faced and stumbling around screaming for help, she sits there, nervously smiling, as if she's just sat in something wet.
"Oh the waste!" I think as I drive away. All that hilarity just soaring over her head when they’re alone. With so many people starving for laughter in this world, there he is, feeding caviar to the flies. I can't stand it. I really just can't.
I feel much the same way about undelivered compliments - the ones we don't give to each other or to ourselves. We get but one go round on this planet to be ourselves, and to spend it thinking we are anything less than fabulous is a shameful waste. Our purpose is to make ourselves and everyone around us happy, and getting a compliment, even if you need a cooty shot afterwards, is still a compliment. Here are a few pointers:
Uncreepy: Complimenting her while looking in her eyes and smiling.
Creepy: Complimenting her while staring at her chest.
Uncreepy: Smiling, no big dealing, and walking away.
Creepy: Lingering, staring, wanting something in return.
Uncreepy: Following up with a lovely chat.
Creepy: Touching her.
It's about how you say it, not what you say, so be light and fun about it and so will she. To sort of quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel like a sweaty-palmed pervert without your permission," so give yourself a break.
To sort of quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel like a sweaty-palmed pervert without your permission," so give yourself a break.
comments
And it's very very true, to boot. Nothing like receiving a random compliment (especially from a stranger when those you see regularly don't notice a change you've recently made), and what's even better is giving one. The occassional smile that comes back your way is well worth it.
I think women need more compliments than men. My experience has been that it doesn't take much for that "catty" vibe to permeate a room that holds two or more women. It's nearly imperceptible, but it's there. I make it a practice to give my compliments freely and sincerely, especially to women whom I've just met. They don't expect it and so it disarms them most pleasantly.
I don't 100% agree. I know several men who not only enjoy an out of the blue compliment, but in many cases require them. I'm no expert, but my intuition tells me that it's less about the gender of the person you're complimenting and more about how -- for lack of a better word -- 'needy' he or she is at a particular time and place.