Can we Have It All? And if so, Do We Want It?

Posted by beth on January 9, 2008 9:49 AM PST

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Last night I got sucked into watching a new show on tv called the Cashmere Mafia.

Talk about stress!!! These women were juggling more then a four ring circus--kids, husbands, boyfriends, dates, social gatherings, careers, finances. After a bunch of mis-haps and drama (as per usual tv), the show ended with a final toast (very ala Sex & the City), "So much for having it all," one of the women proclaimed.

I couldn't help but think, Is THIS having it all? And if we can, Do We Even Want IT?

I'm not sure that I do; part of me does; part of me doesn't. I should mention here that at moment, I am in a relationship, living with my partner in an apartment, no kids or pets...aka a very stress-free lifestyle. After one conversation with one of my Have it All friends (married, kids, house, pets), I thank my lucky stars for my life.

I understand it comes down to choices, however, the choice in a Have it All Lifestyle is exactly that... chosing ALL OF IT .. and then DEALING WITH IT. Are we really equipped to deal with it? Is Having it all really worth it?

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4 Comments

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Hey Beth, great post!

I am going to raise my hand and yell loudly, "I want it all and then some!!" However, my all may be a bit different to the Cashmere Mafia's or anyone elses all.

My all includes the successful, fulfilling career (by my own definition of successful, etc.), the comfortable lifestyle (again by my own definition of comfortable), I already have an amazing kid, but would love to incorporate the awesome significant other into the mix (yep, I am ready for a relationship -- oops, did I just say that? LOL), have some great friends, but have room for a few more, have the cuddly four-legged creatures too...BRING IT ALL ON!

For me, dealing has to do with ensuring that I have and know my a, b, c's;
a) absolute prorities set
b) boundaries in place
c) coffee breaks aka recharge time for me. :)

IMHO, stress is choice. Some folks could make clipping their toenails stressful. Know what I mean? So again, IMHO, I do not think having it all has to be stressful. I think it just depends on one's own definition of having it all and how they choose to balance it all.

I think having it all really means have a life full of joy and happiness. To some, that may be a fulfilling career while to others it may be marriage and a family. Whatever it may be, we can have it all!! But everything has its own timing. Sometimes we think we’re ready for something when we’re really not. When the time is right, things always fall in to place.

And I don’t think you have to choose all of it to have all of it (if that makes any sense). You just choose what makes you happy. And if you’re happy Beth, you already have all of it!!

Thanks for your replies. Great perspective. Having it all does require your own personal definition of what ALL really means and setting some clear boundaries (which I find is usually the most difficult part for women). I also think that timing is so important. Your posts have inspired me to redefine what ALL means to me Right now: 1) a fulfilling career 2) a loving partner 3) freedom to travel 4) time for friends 5) ME-time... Hey wait.. It looks like I already have it all!! In the future, I'm not sure what ALL will mean to me. The future all is what is scary, but I guess I'll make those choices when I get there. I do know one thing is for sure, If i'm still choosing the career, and opt for some kids.. I am definitely choosing to manifest some traveling nanny. Hey--Angelina seems to be mother of the Year these days and god knows, she ain't doin it all herself!
beth |community coordinator | life coach |seeker of knowledge|

Everything changes. It's all an illusion, it comes, it goes, and we suffer as a result. Sometimes, we already have it ALL and we feel as though we have nothing. At other times, we have nothing, and yet we feel on top of the world as though we have it ALL. What's the difference? I feel this quote will sum it right up, "When we bring forth inner strength, the whole landscape is transformed; everything looks completely different."
Daisaku Ikeda

That's it!