In his Foreword to my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, Dr. Stephen Covey writes the following: "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness." Although Dr. Covey was unable to identify the source of these three lines, which he found in a university library during a sabbatical in Hawaii, he underscores that they reaffirmed Viktor Frankl's essential teachings (which just so happen to be the focus of my book!).

In this regard, the first "Core Principle" of Dr. Frankl's System of Logotherapy is captured by the following passage from his classic best-selling book, Man's Search for Meaning (first published in English in 1959): "Everything can be taken from a man but...the last of the human freedom's--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way." Although it may not always seem easy to do, and some times we may not want to exercise it, I think that most of us would agree that we ALWAYS have the "freedom" to choose our attitude. This freedom to choose (within the space between stimulus and response) is ours in every aspect of our lives. Yet it can be difficult, even when our lives are comparably safe and perceivably "free."

In some way, we all struggle with things that are beyond our control. Bringing them under our control, even if only in an attitudinal sense, is where our freedom takes shape, no matter what the circumstances. In life's most difficult situations, it is our capacity to cope and personal resiliency that are put to the ultimate test. It's then that the freedom to choose our attitude takes center stage.

To exercise this freedom effectively, however, we must be able to view any given situation from different vantage points. We must know who we are and be flexible and courageous enough to make a shift when necessary, even if it means moving away from what is expected or considered "normal." When we choose our attitude in light of what I would call "true optimism," we actually make three choices: (1) we choose a positive attitude about the situation at hand; (2) we choose an attitude that supports a form of creative visualization about what's possible; and (3) we choose an attitude that generates passion for the action that makes the possible become a reality.

In other words, being a true optimist actually requires more than positive thinking. Positive affirmations, like good intentions, aren't enough; we need to be able to VISUALIZE the possibilities that may result from our choice of attitude, and be able to feel the emotion or PASSION behind our choice of attitude that will help us actualize such possibilities.

Again, we each have the freedom to make these choices, but it is amazing how frequently we don't. We either "choose" to abstain from taking full responsibility for what should be our conscious choices or "choose," albeit unconsciously, to remain frozen in thought patterns that may no longer serve our highest good. In short, we become a "prisoner of our thoughts." The first questions to ask yourself when facing a challenging situation are: Are you aware of your current attitude toward the situation? Are you willing to change it? This is a subtle process because often we may be unaware of our attitude toward something or someone and/or we may not really want to address the possibility of changing our attitude, let alone be willing to do so.

With this in mind, here is a quick exercise that can help you address such issues, not only by opening up new possibilities but also by helping you to exercise your freedom to choose your attitude. To begin with, think of a situation in your life or work that is or was especially stressful, negative, or challenging for you. Now, take a deep breath, and write down "ten positive things" that could result--or did result--from this situation. Notice any resistance that you may have to doing this. (Sometimes it's easier to stay mad, or self-righteous, or right.) But just let your mind loose and entertain the possibilities.

Write down what first comes to mind. Continue to stretch your imagination and suspend judgment, listing whatever comes into your consciousness, no matter how silly, far out, or unrealistic your thoughts may appear to be. Feel completely free to determine or define what "positive" means to you. After you've completed your list, look at it closely, and let the positive become possible in your frame of reference regarding the difficult situation.

Sometimes this is very hard to do. It requires a letting go of old ways of thinking, pain, remorse, disappointment, frustration, perhaps even grief and anguish. But it levels your playing field of possibilities for the future. Experience has shown that this exercise opens you to true optimism no matter how challenging your circumstances. (If you are so inclined, you'll find more details about this Principle, "Exercise the Freedom to Choose Your Attitude," and this Exercise, including a variety of real life illustrations in personal and work-related situations, in my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts.)

Although we may not be totally free from the various conditions or situations that confront us--in our personal and work lives--the important thing is that we can choose how we respond, at the very least through our choice of attitude. According to Frankl, this is not only our right as full human beings, it is our full human beingness to be free. All we have to do is resist the temptation of remaining a "prisoner of our thoughts" and choose this freedom, no matter what. Remember, between stimulus and response, there is a space.

(c) 2007 Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.