Dear Jen,
I’m a 22 year-old single woman. My boyfriend and I just broke up, and we have a12 month-old son together. I've been attracted to other women since high school, but have never had the guts to further explore my curiosity. I really want to try it now, but things are more complicated because I have a son. Do I explore my fantasies, or bottle them up and live a normal, heterosexual life?
- Mommy Queerest
Dear Mommy,
If your idea of a normal, heterosexual life is humping the back of your couch after little Timmy's hottypants mom drops him off for playgroup, then go for it. But wouldn't it be so much more fun to make out with her instead?
If your feelings about this are as strong as they sound like they are, you're headed for a long, unsatisfied life of “what-ifs” if you let your fears rule your decisions. I understand not wanting to drag your son through your experimentation process, but let’s face it - he's one. In his mind, you are a pair of boobs, and as long as the boobs show up when he calls for them, he doesn't care who else has been playing with them.
I think the real fear here is that you'll discover you like women better than you like men, and that you'll subject your son to growing up in a lesbian family. While this can be a challenge in our poor, dimwitted society, it beats the hell out of having a mommy who's addicted to painkillers because she's so miserable in her normal, heterosexual life. Your life matters too, and if you want to raise a kid who does what's in his heart and who's proud of who he is, then you should lead by example.
There was a time when women couldn't wear pants, African Americans had to sit in the back of the bus and orange juice was just for breakfast. The change started with a few, brave souls who stepped outside the norm and got the ball rolling. By adding to the growing number of gay and lesbian families, you'd be doing a public service and helping to stretch the tiny, terrified minds of people who think that them thar queers outta be hosed off and locked up somewhere.
Nothing makes happy children like happy parents. So if it turns out that you wind up finding true love with another woman, how excellent for both you and your son that you had the guts to seek her out.
How about all of you, any thoughts, comments, suggestion, oppositions?