Are You Living in a Fishbowl?

I posed this very question to a friend the other day--Are you living in a fishbowl? This person individual was feeling stuck in his life, doing several things, but not feeling like his life was any richer for the energy he was putting out there. I mentioned to him that in all of the discussions we have had, I hear about his comings and goings, but never what makes him gravitate in one direction or the other. He has friends and from his perspective, he’s well aware of what is going on in his life. It seemed to me that he was living in a fishbowl—he was swimming around with others bumping into them and observing life, but never really interacting with his surroundings. I posed these questions to him:

Why do you choose the friends you do?
What discussions to you like to take part in and why?
In your free time, what places do you choose to frequent and why?
How emotionally connected am I to my environment and the people in it?
How emotionally connected am I to myself?

When our life does not feel fulfilling, it’s time to take stock of how we are showing up in it. It is easy to feel confused when our perspective is one of “I’m showing up, I’m participating, why doesn’t life feel more fulfilling?” We convince ourselves that the act of showing up is enough. What's happening we we do that, however, is that we are ignoring our needs, silencing our desires and hiding from our feelings. It's not time to judge ourselves, but to evaluate where we are and why, as well as where we'd like to be.

It takes great courage to own the level to which we are really participating, and the degree to which we are simply moving our protective fishbowl from place to place. Consider why you feel unsafe and what it would take to feel safer—Then take baby steps. By making one small change in our emotional engagement we can effect profound positive movement in our overall life.

Showing up is not enough. Our experience is based on the degree to which we are willing to interact fully with our environment, community and self. When we don't interact fully with our own emotions, then we cannot interact fully with others.