As a fellow independent, I have learned one shortcoming in being alone. Being alone and doing things on my own when I CHOOSE to, pretty much rocks! Being alone when I don't feel like being alone pretty much sucks! So my question to your pride is this... if you think about your life and what you want it to look like and if you had to do all of it by yourself, would it still look as sweet without someone to share it with? There is no right or wrong answer.

My friend, I'm saying this with a smile on my face... There are six billion people to play with on this here planet. Hoping that you can open yourself to one is the oldest game in the world that men play. God, it's so boring. You were completely - yeah, completely - vulnerable and open to your parents and probably to many others as a kid? Where did that go...into the boring "I am an island" man game. I have a way more fun and interesting challenge for you: could you be open to all six billion of us? That would save a lot of time. One by one is a killer. The next level of that is could you learn to enjoy and utilize all of us for your greatest happiness and turn on and actually come to the party.

The reason why Beth - who responded to your post - supports independence is that women live in an internal environment based completely on a deep belief that relationship is a given - it's where you live, not where you have to get to - so, for her as a woman, the freedom to be individual is an accomplishment to be savored. With men, it's just the opposite. We're so committed to "not relationship" that it seems like a big deal to have relationship with even one person. Boring. Competely uninteresting. Also, deadly.

There are men my age, 61, who still haven't learned this and when you look at them it shows: they're closed off and hardly being alive.

As a way to have the most fun in life and to be successful as well, relationship is the only jackpot move, starting with really being in relationship and digging yourself.

Though you haven't asked for any advice, my advice as an older man is rub up against a million bodies if you can and have fun. This is what we're here for, says I. Women, so far, really have the lock on that one, having fun, that is. (And they actually rub up against a lot more bodies than we do. Just take a look at how they interact with other poeple and you'll see.)

Have fun!

I have this ongoing debate with my best friend which can be summarized as this: you fight for what you need not what you want. We all NEED people. The question becomes is it a healthy need or a co-dependent one. There is nothing wrong with needing family, friends a significant other. The person you find will appreciate and cherish your independence. There is nothing wrong with being independent and have needs that require other people.