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The nature and structure of a committed relationship is related to the agreements and commitments each partner makes to the relationship, not to each other, to the relationship!
5 essential parts of the structure of a committed, long-term, primary, monogamous love relationship are:
• To tell my personal truth
• To act with good will and good intention
• To honor and respect my partner’s feelings as if they were my own
• To be responsible to co-create the relationship that matches my vision, values and life purpose
• To live my passion and bring my authentic self to “you” and to “us”
All the agreements and commitments must be bi-lateral; that means that you and your Honey must both make those agreements and commitments in the presence of each other so that you know she did and she knows that you did.
All agreements and commitments must be honored no matter what. It is a breech of trust when you don’t keep your agreements and commitments. Be sure you are able to honor them before you agree and commit.
Only You can make it happen!
comments
I like that a lot Jackie. This line especially struck me, "To honor and respect my partner’s feelings as if they were my own." It's such a respectful way to act. I'll have to hold that and see how it feels. Part of me says, "How can I really know how they feel, only they can know that, so how can I take responsibility for it?" But maybe I'm not getting it.
Hi Richman:
*Honoring* and *respecting* is NOT about knowing how anybody feels; and has nothing to do with taking responsibility for anything.
Try thinking of it this way:
Taking responsibility is a behavior.
Honoring and respecting are attitudes.
When we honor and respect our partner’s feelings as if they were our own, we have made a decision to not judge, dispute, contest, object to, question, oppose, argue with or challenge our partner’s feelings, attitudes, beliefs, and experiences of people and events.
It doesn’t mean that we can’t engage in vigorous conversation for the purpose of understanding. It does mean that we commit to not attempt to prevent, impede, hinder, prohibit or obstruct another person’s legitimate right to experience internally and express externally his or her true nature and authentic Self.
Great question, Richman!
Best,
Dr. Jackie