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11 Telltale Signs Your New Girlfriend May Be a Restraining Order Waiting to Happen
1. She looks into your eyes and says, "No one has ever made me feel quite the way you do." From across the ordering counter you respond, "Thanks. I'll have a venti machiatto, extra shot please."
2. While leaving the movie theater you hear someone shout, "150 yards Goddamnit! 150 yards!" To your surprise she screams back, "Inadvertent contact, Bill! Inadvertent!"
3. Before you’re even home from your first date, she's left four voice mails, sent two text messages and called your best friend to ask where you're at.
4. When she smiles there's always lipstick on her teeth.
5. Ten minutes after sex she's picking out baby names.
6. The first time you meet her parents, you overhear her Dad mutter, "Poor bastard."
7. On your first date she tells her seven year old to call you Dad.
8. She threatens to beat your 66 year old secretary’s ass because she smiled at you.
9. She starts way too many sentences with, “My P.O. says…”
10. She has twelve tattoos, eleven of them covering up old boyfriends' names...poorly.
11. Her bathroom reading materials include the books 'Schizophrenia and You: a Biblical Solution' and 'Women Who Beat the Men Who Love Them'.
I found this on MishMash.com
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12. She's waiting for you outside your apartment door, uninvited, when you arrive from an evening out.
13. She owns more than 2 cats. (I'm being generous here. I think cats are reincarnated crazy women who committed suicide in their previous life. One cat is a danger sign. I won't date men who own cat(s); they're crazier than their female counterparts; especially if they practice yoga.)
14. She invites you home to meet her family in under 30 days.
15. She begins showing up at all your favorite hangouts and pretends it's a coincidence.
16. She systematically has sex with all your friends.
17. She begins contacting your ex-girlfriends to pump them for information.
18. She utters phrases like, "I don't know what I'd do if we broke up," "I wouldn't want to live without you," or "the third time I was admitted to the ER."
19. Suicide Hotline is one of her T-Mobile Faves.
20. Her medicine cabinet contains bottles of Lexepro, Abilify, and Zyprexa. They only prescribe Zyprexa to the REALLY crazy ones.
21. She professes "No one's ever understood me like you do" and "I've never felt this way with a man before" on the first date.
23. SHE SAYS SHE JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX, DOESN"T WANT A COMMITMENT AND YOU CAN CONTINUE TO SEE OTHER WOMEN. "I want to be with you tonight. I don't care about tomorrow." Just call your attorney now. Game over.
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Google it. Now.
What's with that anyway? I dated two guys with cats, each had one female cat, and I have to admit, they turned me off from dating men with cats ever since. It's not something I'll discriminate against, but it definitely raises an eyebrow. Recently, a girlfriend of mine told me how she was dating a guy who had two cats. I told her to forget about it, one cat was bad enough but two?! What's his deal? She ended it. Not because of the cats, but they did tip her off as did other signs. I have a cat and think I'm perfectly normal....( kinda normal).....and I think other women who stick to just one cat are kinda normal as well but those other women with ten cats or those women who are paranoid of cute little kitties are in the closet about something major! Perhaps those weird women are reincarnated cats waiting to commit....commit themselves.....to.....something....besides the drugs in the cabinet.
These are hilarious.
KM
I thought they were absolutely histerical also. You have got to add a few of your own here as well. Don't keep the good stuff to yourself!!!!
We are all listening....
Poet
So is BPD a real thing, or just an overblown blanket diagnosis. Because I think I know some people.... Are half the people walking around simply crazy?