12. She's waiting for you outside your apartment door, uninvited, when you arrive from an evening out.

13. She owns more than 2 cats. (I'm being generous here. I think cats are reincarnated crazy women who committed suicide in their previous life. One cat is a danger sign. I won't date men who own cat(s); they're crazier than their female counterparts; especially if they practice yoga.)

14. She invites you home to meet her family in under 30 days.

15. She begins showing up at all your favorite hangouts and pretends it's a coincidence.

16. She systematically has sex with all your friends.

17. She begins contacting your ex-girlfriends to pump them for information.

18. She utters phrases like, "I don't know what I'd do if we broke up," "I wouldn't want to live without you," or "the third time I was admitted to the ER."

19. Suicide Hotline is one of her T-Mobile Faves.

20. Her medicine cabinet contains bottles of Lexepro, Abilify, and Zyprexa. They only prescribe Zyprexa to the REALLY crazy ones.

21. She professes "No one's ever understood me like you do" and "I've never felt this way with a man before" on the first date.

23. SHE SAYS SHE JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX, DOESN"T WANT A COMMITMENT AND YOU CAN CONTINUE TO SEE OTHER WOMEN. "I want to be with you tonight. I don't care about tomorrow." Just call your attorney now. Game over.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Google it. Now.

What's with that anyway? I dated two guys with cats, each had one female cat, and I have to admit, they turned me off from dating men with cats ever since. It's not something I'll discriminate against, but it definitely raises an eyebrow. Recently, a girlfriend of mine told me how she was dating a guy who had two cats. I told her to forget about it, one cat was bad enough but two?! What's his deal? She ended it. Not because of the cats, but they did tip her off as did other signs. I have a cat and think I'm perfectly normal....( kinda normal).....and I think other women who stick to just one cat are kinda normal as well but those other women with ten cats or those women who are paranoid of cute little kitties are in the closet about something major! Perhaps those weird women are reincarnated cats waiting to commit....commit themselves.....to.....something....besides the drugs in the cabinet.

These are hilarious.
KM

I thought they were absolutely histerical also. You have got to add a few of your own here as well. Don't keep the good stuff to yourself!!!!

We are all listening....

Poet

So is BPD a real thing, or just an overblown blanket diagnosis. Because I think I know some people.... Are half the people walking around simply crazy?

Great blog. #7 is so true and should def scare a guy off!

What if, she has two dogs that live inside day, the house is like a kennel, she treats them like royal kids, she has two tattoes of previous boyfriends, ( one of them fried to death - no shit, I dont know how exactly ) she leaves long emails about how to give in and accept her love, she tells you she loves you after two times of sex, she lies about her pot-habits, smokes like a chimney, has public coniptions if you look at a blond, hates herself for not being a blond, and generally hangs off your arm all the time, calls you obscene names and insults you to the core if you dont give her baby talk or let her know you aren't too keen. She basically excutes as much guilt as possible to get her way. What is wrong with me if I feel so drawn so 'save her' and want to settle in somewhere and give it a go? Is love like that or is that a demon sqautting in a kennel? Anybody??

24. When he calls you 19 times in a row, leaves 3 voice mails and 5 text msgs.