Close

Does YOUR child have "The Right Stuff?"

Dr. Mark Goulston's picture
Posted by Dr. Mark Goulston on August 31, 2008 10:36 AM PDT
80% recommended of users recommended this
Saving...
Recommend this? YES NO

Every time you bail out your child

there are 10 million children the same age in the world

facing, paying and learning from the consequences of their actions

and becoming tougher, stronger and smarter.

One day one of those children will be the boss of your child

and will not bail them out.

So what is a parent to do when their child unrelentingly refuses to do without something they want or refuses to do something they don’t want to do?

It’s simple, but not easy. Just say, “No.”

And if and when they have that temper tantrum, give them that time out, explain (but don’t lecture) what the consequence is and why you are giving it (i.e. to help them develop behaviors that will make them happy and successful in life), keep your word and turn the car around and take them home (or at the very least pull off or to the side of the road calmly, turn the car off, take the keys out of the ignition and wait) and come up with consequences that you keep.

Need some reinforcement? Maybe this will give you pause to think.

Imagine how unsuccessful and unhappy your child will be if they grow up with no self-discipline.It shouldn’t be difficult, because if you can’t give them consequences that you keep, you most likely lack self-discipline. And that has most likely contributed to whatever success and happiness you may be lacking.

How well you realistically and consistently discipline your child hardwires their personality and determines how much self-discipline they will have in the future.

If you don’t say, “No” to what they gotta’ have today, your children won’t have the self-discipline to earn what they want to have tomorrow.

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to our newsletter and we'll keep you updated with fresh new content.

This is a really important blog, for any parent to read. Or anyone who ever wants to become a parent. It's hard sometimes to say no to those cute little faces and sweet eyes, but the less we say no when we should, the worse we are leaving our children off for later.

KnitsofLove's picture

I completely disagree. I believe that children should be given everything they want and need.
The key is to make sure they understand what practical wants and needs are, and that $30 could either buy them something that lasts for years, or it could be a one shot "broken in a week" toy.
They need to be given the tools to make the decisions.

kalii2's picture

This is so very true. I've privately tutored over 100 kids in the last decade and this generation of kids definitely are treated like princes and princesses. I rarely see any discipline and most of them don't even go outside to play. They are not allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. When kids are spoon fed everything, they grow up to be people who can't think for themselves. A lot of them can't motivate themselves and it's quite sad to see that. This article is right on.

euroni's picture