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When iPhone was first released, just having one was enough to draw attention and establish hipness with beautiful women. Remember when girls crowded around for a demonstration of the magical touchscreen or to watch YouTube videos in the palm of your hand?
Their eyes widened with childlike wonder as you described the beauty and elegance of iPhone and its utter superiority to every device known to man.
Sadly, those days are gone. In the past year iPhone has become common place. With the coming price drop to $200 any goober will be able to get one.
Yet the iPhone is still a powerful tool. Here are the best ways to unleash the seductive power of iPhone.
1. Unlock it

Nothing tempts a girl's wild side like a bad boy, and that's exactly what an unlocked iPhone says: I don't play by the rules, danger doesn't scare me, and I have crazy skills you can't even comprehend. Plus it gives you access to the 3rd party apps that are too cool for regular users.
Who cares if it can be done by any chump in 45 seconds. She doesn't know that. Bonus points for using the term "hacked" and alluding to the danger of an iPhone being "bricked".
2. All-Star Photo Album

So you just met a cute girl. How do you prove that you do amazing things all the time and have many cool friends? This is the ideal use-case for the All-Star photo album. Create a special album on your iPhone of all your most impressive pics: snow boarding in the Swiss Alps, you with your friends at the Radiohead concert, and pictures of you with other attractive women are all good candidates.
When you get her alone for a moment, say something like, "OMG you've gotta see this photo of me [insert cool thing here]" and proceed to go through the entire album, commenting about how great a time you had and how cool your friends are.
3. iPod Tunes Master

Dozens of targeted playlists in the palm of your hand. This needs no explanation. Create playlists to set different moods: chill, party-time, low key, and of course, romantic. To get the ultimate effect, invest in a set of portable speakers. When you bust out the tunes at the beach, park, etc. you will be the man. We highly recommend flipping through cover flow mode for maximum visual effect.
4. Contacts, the more the merrier
Make sure you have lots of contacts, because seriously, you are so freaking popular. To inflate your contacts count, import all of your email contacts into your address book and upload them to iPhone. She won't know that 2/3 of those people have never seen you in person.
Expert tip: Complain about searching your contacts list saying, "I can't stand looking for contacts on my iPhone -- it only lets you search by 1 letter. How am I supposed to sort through 300 Johns?" Note: This is the only acceptable circumstance to complain about iPhone.
5. Stocks

Women like men with money and ambition. Show her you're on the way to wealth by constantly checking your stocks. When you catch her trying to see what you're looking at, casually comment on your gains and losses, throwing around buzz words like "credit crisis", "oil bubble", and "consumer confidence". Assure her you will achieve superior returns by investing in commodities and precious metals that will be essential to the growth of developing nations.
6. Save the Day with Maps

Maps is the ultimate clutch iPhone feature. The best time to break it out is when you're with a group of people and need to find something in an unknown area -- pizza, hardware store, gas station, etc. As soon as the opportunity arises, execute a search in maps and lead the group to success. Even better if you can use iPhone to instantly call the place. By solving the problem and taking charge you'll establish yourself as a resourceful leader -- a quality highly regarded by women.
7. Look Smart with Safari

When an argument arises over a particular fact, look smarter than everyone else by finding the correct answer with Google. This is the only time you will wish to conceal iPhone use from females. It's great for settling disputes about the proper definition of a word or the location of obscure African nations.
In case it's not clear, using iPhone will make you look like a rich, smart, cultured, resourceful, exciting, and popular bad ass. We can't wait for 3G.
if you need all that to be cool... forget it
Does all of this mean my Nokia 3560 doesn't make me cool with my 40 contacts? Oh well, my blackjack 2 will just have to suffice until the new iphone comes out and catches up to it.
8. Weather -- Just think how impressed they'll be when you can tell them that Thursday looks party cloudy, but Friday is definitely thunderstorms. Electrifying!
jesus this is dorky
this is so stupid
lmao
haha you people are haters
^ my thoughts exactly
This is ridiculous. Just drive a sports car, wear a backwards baseball cap and act like a douchebag. Women will be all over you.
8. Call and talk to them for more than 20 minutes. Girls like talking.
*PROTIP any phone will work.
i had to wait 20 minutes for this POS page to load, and yeah it blows, so I posted a crappy comment.
This is a joke right?
It really works :D
you could always use it to bash them over the head to knock them out... and it's faster than scrolling through your 'like totally awesome pictures man' easiest way to get women evar!
I do that already on my n95 8Gb.
You can't be serious; this is just a list of features... How on earth did this get on digg in the first place? And I'm with the baseball cap and sports car guy. Don't impress chicks, just f#$Y them.
This is really dumb*
*posted from iphone
great tips if you are trying to attract these type of women http://email-junk.com/pictures/extreme-makeovers.html
If the IPHONE could vibrate, you wouldnt have to show here the rest.
this guide is just what i needed!
Sent from my 16gb iphone...ladies!
If this was not written as a joke to mock the fools that think a phone can make them cool, then I must assume the writer must have a really awesome fake tan and lives in New Jersey.
Everybody complains but i bet some of you know that most of those things are true
yeah my pocket pc makes me look ... like the geek I am.
You cannot use an iPhone to impress a chick. And if you think you can you probably aren't talking to many women.
Yes, the iPhone is very cool.. I own one myself.. But don't think I would whoop it out to impress a lady. Much rather just drop my pants....
If only the iPhone could somehow remind the girl of the ways in which her father ignored her as a child...
trying too hard lolz?
What a dumb article. Anyone can do those things.
yea not to bash tech geeks, but this is will just make you look like a desperate tool
Or use google maps on the phone to find a strip club.
Haha i like this one, everyone needs an iphone
9. Dont use electronics to impress girls.
You forgot one. Wrap a heavy gym sock around it, and wear it in your front, pants pocket - tight to the inside.
Mr. Goodyear.
My cool will just have to be limited to when I pull out my Treo and watch live TV via my Slingbox, which the iphone can't do because the Edge network is too slow.
This stuff does not work, or at least not for me... women just think that I pay more attention to the phone than to them.
pah-thetic.
All you need to do is go to the bar, find a woman sitting at the bar, sit next to her and be a total dick. You'll be taking her home for sure.
Great list
this is kinda sad actually
I guess some of the above dont get your humour.
How to Use iPhone to Impress Women:
1. Put it on the dash of your ferrari.
The half of you didn't realize this was supposed to be humorous..
That's sadder than if his article was supposed to be serious.
Barf
go outside
#2 and #3 are good, though you don´t necessarily need and iPhone for it. As for the rest, I´m sure there are a number of girls you can impress by checking your stocks. If you actually want to meet these kinda girls is another matter of course...
to the author of this article:
you're an idiot.
Lame.
105 Comments