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How to Deal with Angry Women and Maintain Your Dignity
Want to know the best way to calm down an angry woman? Have sex with her. That's right. Get her into bed ASAP.
I'm not talking about garden variety anger or frustration. I mean fire breathing, beyond reason angry. There's no discussing, no placating- you just have to do something.
Of course, the woman in question should be your wife or girlfriend and ideally enjoys sex when she's in a "good mood."
If your little turtledove just isn't into sex or can only enjoy sex if 96 conditions are "just right," here are some effective alternatives:
1) Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear. Capitulation (i.e., castration) to keep the peace.
Pros: It gets her off your back and stops the verbal tirade. Cons: You voluntarily surrender your nut sac. Not to worry, you can visit "the boys" where she keeps them in a mason jar above the fireplace.
2) Money. Or jewelry. Or real estate. Never underestimate the power shiny objects hold for some women. For example, Kobe Bryant committed extramarital anal rape. His wife got a $4 million dollar, 8-karat, purple diamond ring. Nice.
My preciousssss....
Pro: It's a proven technique that stops the cold/hot war. Cons: It's only valid until your next transgression, real or imagined. Unless you have very deep pockets, you'll be up a certain creek without a paddle in no time.
3) Drugs. Sedate her. Collude with her doctor. Secure a diagnosis of "atypical mood disorder with rage attacks" followed with prescriptions for Zyprexa, Abilify and Prozac.
Pros: The Zyprea creates a zombie-like, flat affect while the Prozac and Abilify prevent the dreaded weight gain. Think Stepford Wives. I refer to this as the Borderline Cocktail. Cons: Technically, this might be illegal and there are health risks and side effects.
4) Sex. When I'm in a rage, it's the only thing (short of a tranq dart) that works. Argue me into the bedroom or onto the nearest horizontal surface, stat. Afterward, I've either forgotten why I was angry or am in a super satiated state in which I'm capable of rational discourse again. Love that oxytocin.
Pros: No side effects (if it's safe sex). Zero risk of debt. Both parties win. Cons: This isn't applicable to colleagues and other motorists when I'm behind the wheel, which leads me to . . .
5) Be direct and honest. This is the toughest technique of them all. It requires you to focus on the issues and takes work, practice and effective use of "I" statements. An ineffective I statement: "I feel bad because you're a jerk." Wrong. "I feel bad when you turn the TV volume up when I'm talking. It makes me feel irrelevant." Better.
Just remember, we're all human- granted, some of us are more annoying than others, myself included. We all make mistakes. We all have feelings. No one likes to feel blamed, bad or "wrong." We all experience pain and hurt, even if it's not obvious to the casual or intimate observer.
Of course, the aforementioned is really hard to remember when all you can do is focus on is what an a$$hole the other person is being. That's when you either give yourself a timeout or hit the sheets.
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TFF.
Gotta admit, 1-4 are the easiest ways to go if you don't want to deal with an argument, but it's really, really hard especially when you're both angry and certain your right.
My precioussssssssssss! Baby you made me snarf my Jamba Juice!
Sex sounds like a great option
Woah this is hard but then I think ther's always a solution to any problems. for couple SEX is the solution but for Non--- couple what??????
I think that while this blog provides some actual good information for calming down an angry woman, it also has a ton of humor!! I love the Kobe Bryant reference and the picture of the HUGE rock. That thing is crazy. Can you imagine wearing an 8 karat ring?? I had a 1 karat, and it was almost too much for me!! I would recommend this blog to any man who needs a good laugh.
What a pathetic relationship when one person's temper so dominates the situation that the other person has to resort to placating tactics just to keep the peace. If I was that much of a nightmare in my marriage, I would hope my poor husband would tell me to shut the hell up once in a while, for his own peace of mind.
Nice post. Any ideas on how to calm women other than girlfriends and wives?
Funny but effective. Won't work for the long-term fury though.
Very good advice on dealing with anger. But alot of times it ight not work if the person is strong minded. I find my best way to deal with anger with my spouse is jsut not talk to her and it usually works. As she will forgive me.
I wish it was that easy, but when you live with a rage-acholic (sp) with more wounds to the heart than Carter has pills. You finally end up trying to put a little distance between she and thee, and you look for a place to send your 17 yo child (her step son) out of harms way. With all her name calling, screaming, and cussing...You find yourself wondering why you overlooked all those red flags. So you leave the house and head to the nearest Al-Anon meeting to get recharged...
I think it really depends on what kind of women you have as your wife. Some angry wives go off the handle. And others, like me, just get upset and keep it to herself. Sometimes sex works. Other times "Yes dear" works. You got to understand the situation and use the right ways to calm the situation down. Good advices, although I never know anyone who uses drugs.
hahaha. Very funny! I appreciate the #5 since that is how we try to deal with all fights in our realtionship but I do think that we (my husband especially) will want to kiss your feet when I tell him what you have suggested as an alternative to #5!
I think the facious way of saying you can try drugging her or you can try being honest is a funny but effective way of pointing out the right ways to deal with anger. I also appreciate you not saying that just walking out was an option.
You are correct, jewelry works. Nothing says "I'm sorry I screwed up" better than a diamond!
Listen to your womans complaints as indicators of how your living your life as a whole.
Having sex is not the solution.
Consuming her--ravishing her, letting her feel your strong masculine core is better. Yet, if you were handling things that way she wouldn't be ape-shit bonkers to begin with.
Guys, if you need to resort to 1 thru 3, you may win the battle but the war was lost before it had even begun.
If that's the case, leave her. Go start over. And this time be the man from the beginning.
So how do talk to a woman who has so much anger that every little thing has to be an argument that keeps multipying by 10 and hold that anger for days.Then is ok untill the next thing arrives,back to square one.It's only so much bitterness a person can take.I think some women for what ever reason strive on being bitter with every one in there lives.I say this because it's every one who's in contack with her get a tase of her anger.
maybe she has the right to be bitter and agry with you, honesty is the best policy
you could start talking and stop lying
One one grand solution works for angry, especially those who are lunatically angry (these category of women are incurable). And the solution? Maintain absolute silence - don't talk back, don't communicate, don't make peace, and don't have sex with her. More importantly, move your stuff from the house, as soon as, she leaves for work; and never come back. And goodluck with her new man. Otherwise, you'll die of early heart attack; that is, if she does not poison your coffee before that. I have lived with one, and I know what I'm talking about. That's why I'm still alive in God's beautiful blue planet.
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