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How to Tell If He's Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now
When a person marries or commits to someone who they feel is "The One" (Mr. Right), they assume that they will never experience similar feelings toward another person again in their life. Unfortunately, except for chick-flick love stories, this is not always true. If it were, the divorce rate would decrease, less domestic violence would occur and fewer antacids would be sold.
The truth is that we are all human and when we allow ourselves to be, we are quite vulnerable to developing significant feelings for others. The telling factor in defining our character is how we act upon what we feel.
When you meet someone new and exciting (Mr. Right Now) what you are experiencing is the WOW phenomenon, someone has shown an interest in you and you are flattered. At this point, you and your significant other may have become so "comfortable" in your relationship that you have begun to take each other for granted and have stopped courting one another. Spontaneity has given way to standardization. Romance to routine. Yours may have become a relationship of convenience and obligation, opening the door for this dilemma to materialize.
Currently, with Mr. Right Now, you are in the Infatuation Stage. He can do no wrong, and you can't stop thinking of him. You probably can't eat or sleep, and every song you hear or card you read reminds you of him. He has become your own natural aphrodisiac. If you traded personal information, you are probably checking your E-mail and voice mail every 15 minutes to see if has communicated with you.
If you spend more time with him, this phase will gradually wear off and his faults and imperfections will become more evident. You may even find that although he is different from your boyfriend (past, at this point), you don't like the differences. This will leave you seeking Mr. Next.
Yours is a situation that cannot be hidden from your boyfriend as he will sense and observe changes in how you are communicating with him. Thus, you must take an inventory of your feelings and desires. If someone else could so quickly and easily alter your feelings, then several aspects of your present relationship desperately need to be evaluated.
Months of commitment deserves as least "further review" before you make a final decision. Remember, the character of a person is not measured by how they react when things are going well, rather how they react in times of difficulty. Whatever your decision, make sure it is well thought out and one you can look yourself in the mirror and live with.
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The WOW phenomenon, as you put it, is my (and probably many others' as well) favorite part of every relationship. It is a very tough decision once this wears off but it's probably the most important. The only thing worse than sticking with it with a person who is wrong for you is breaking up with a person who was right for you because you didn't wait out some hard times.
LOl - love the title :)
The problem I always have is letting the Mr. Right Now interfere with the the Mr. Right. I'm not saying that I'm dating multiple people at the same time. What I'm saying is this scenario: On a girl's night out you meet a guy at a bar and end up talking to him alright. In your head that WOW factor is interfering with what you have with your Mr. Right. I always know that it's simple infatuation, but I hate that it puts doubts in my head.
I can see how this would be true in some cases, but it's next to impossible to convince someone in love with Mr. Right Now should wait to find Mr. Right. Hate to sound like a wet blanket, but Mr. Right Now can become Mr. What the Hell Was I thinking before the ink dries on the marriage license.
I've been in a Mr. Right Now situation before and have vowed to myself that if another guy ever kicks my right in the WOW, I'm not making ANY long term decisions until the dust settles so to speak. I am all for being in an exclusive relationship without serious commitment for as long as it takes to determine if "Now" is my guys true last name.
Sometimes you can't tell people in lust that they are not in love. They are the ones who jump feet first into the relationship and give it their all only to fall head over heels into a dumpster. People should be more careful when getting into new relationships to prevent from being hurt.
Your are so right. Everytime somebody starts dating somebody they say hes Mr.Right hes the man I'm goign to spend the rest of my life with. And they have this in there head that they dont see everything about this person. Till its to late and they get married and down the road they relize hes not for me.
A lot of people tend to get Mr. Right Now and Mr. Right mixed up. They fail to realize that some people are only meant to be there for a season. They're there to teach whatever it is you're supposed to learn and move on with their lives. Some people get clingy and fall in love, and it just gets messy. When you find that Mr. Right, you just know it. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's work. Let's face it. Nothing worth having is easy to get.
I think sometimes, the guy who was "Mr. Right Now" becomes "Mr. Right". That's what happened to me and my husband. At that time, I really didn't know much about him and really couldn't tell if he was going to be the best for me till death do us part. I am happy to say that he's my "Mr. Right". Like it says in the blog, it does take time to make sure of this and it's good to take it slow.
Wow!! Great article!!! It's soo difficult to tell the difference between the two. Time and patience, not rushing into anything and always having an open mind may help seeing more clearly on who he really is!
I do appreciate the article to define what Mr. Right Now looks like, however the title says "How to Tell If He's Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now" and you did not actually give any direction as to how to know if the "Mr." in your life is actually "Mr. Right".
I do appreciate the phrase "Months of commitment".. as I have seen a number of girls get stuck in a difficult to get out of situation with Mr. Right Now because they thought "true love" easily identified in 1-3 months. Well written, I would like to see a follow up about "Mr. Right"
THIS IS SO TRUE!!! Especially in times are tough. I wish I would have read this before I got married and divorced. I will sincerely take this advice in the future and hope that the second time will be Mr. Right!
This what something I needed to read, about now. At the present time, I am "involved" with a guy who I just think is the "bees knees". However, my grandmothers doubts are weighing me down, so I came looking for help on the internet. ( Then I found this article )
I think the point is, don't go into this thing thinking right away, HES THE ONE. Go in it carefully, baby steps. Don't criticize or critique. Take it all in and then decide what is best for you.
Thanks so much for this article.
I believe it is hard to determine Mr. Right Now from Mr. Right in less than 6 to 9 months, especially if you are already having sex. Having been there many times, I am now determined to forego instant sexual gratification to determine if the man is actually Mr. Right. I'm too old to keep wasting time on Mr. Right Nows. Good luck ladies.
good piece? kindly post one on how to know miss right and miss right. this is more clumpsy and tricky!
complete bs
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