Every parent loves relishes the day when the advanced section of the birds and the bees speech is needed... Right?
I haven't had the need to prepare for this one yet, but rest assured, I remember the talk I had with my father. Something about covering up the little general, and well... lets not go there because it was a rather cool father to son discussion devoid of "Boys have Penis, Girls have Vagina" jargon.
But as a parent, what happens when the Centers for Disease Control releases data proving that 1 in 4 female teens between the ages of 14 to 19 have at least 1 sexually transmitted disease? Rest assured, curfews will be shortened and Papa will be interviewing every little punk coming to pick up his baby girl!
Being a bit of an infectious diseases expert, I found great intrigue in this story because the fact that 25% of US teenage girls, an estimated 3.2 million, had an STD was rather mind blowing. Especially for overprotective big brothers like yours truly!
The study, led by CDC’s Sara Forhan, M.D., M.P.H., concluded that the 2 most common STDs identified were Human Papillomavirus Virus (HPV) and Chlamydia.
While the thought of getting any STD makes me cringe, HPV is by far the more serious of the two. Unfortunately, HPV is extremely difficult to treat, because it doesn't respond to antibiotics (because it's a virus), antiviral therapies are practically worthless, and it has a long dormant period post-infection.
The long term implications are life-threatening because HPV actually embeds it's own genetic code into your own DNA. The first signs of an infection are genital warts (if they appear), but the long term ramifications are far more worrisome. Why?
Those infected with HPV have a significant chance of developing cervical cancer. CDC estimated that in 2007, 11,000 would be diagnosed with cervical cancer, and 4,000 would die from the disease and/or related symptoms. Therefore, a morbidity rate of 36% is a legitimate threat and should not be taken lightly.
Health risks aside, it's time to put on the poker hat!
As an equities trader, I want to know how this will affect the stock market and in particular, my brokerage account.
You see, news moves the market. Sounds simple, and in fact it is, but truly successful investors know how to identify a small piece of news that can affect a companies profit potential before everyone else on Wall Street catches on.

Here are two companies poised to take advantage of this news:

Church & Dwight Co., Inc.
A fairly old school company that makes everything from Brillo Pads and Arm & Hammer baking soda, but also makes something every teenager carries in his wallet... Trojan condoms!

The concept of "don't leave home without it" is so applicable to this story that it goes without saying, but once this news hits the offices of guidance counselors, general practitioners and gynecologists across the country, a revamped effort to "arm the troops" will commence every Saturday evening before date night commences.
Had you bought this stock 5 years ago, you would be up a cozy 174% on your investment. Investing in sin is a well proven, recession proof strategy, so this stock looks like a keeper.

When it comes down to the basics, nothing gets much easier than choosing a stock that profits from sex. Plus, it's an easy way to cash in on the exploits of neighborhood man whore! Add in the potential comedic bonus of tossing him a Brillo Pad and a Trojan the next time he complains about a rash, and you've got nonstop dividends with CHD.

Merck & Co., Inc.
Merck is one of the great pharmaceutical companies, which has developed a HPV vaccine called Gardasil. This vaccine is 90% effective in preventing genital warts, and 70% effective in preventing cervical cancer. There are discrepancies because many different strains of HPV exist, and a 100% effective vaccine has not yet been developed. However, this is the best on the market and every parent with a daughter will be considering giving their child this vaccine. In fact, I foresee this is as a mandatory vaccination to live on campus at any major collegiate institution, just like a standard DPT and meningitis vaccine.
This equals substantial, although potential, profits!

Merck has had its share of difficulties in the last several years thanks in large part to the Vioxx fiasco. However, the market trades on stock's future prospects, and Vioxx issues look to be over unless new data arises. Over the past 3 years, Merck has outperformed the S&P 500, and I would expect it to continue to do so. Therefore, I like the stock as a solid long term pick.

Questions/comments are always welcome.

Disclosure: Author does not own shares of any company at the time of publishing.