I can't speak for all men but from what I think, guys don't try to be complicated. If they like a girl, they want to see her more and that makes sense. If you can tell a guy is serious, there is no need to corner him in and make him tell you that. But if it is incredibly necessary to get some answer out of him, one method could be to just say how you feel about the relationship without sounding like you are expecting a response from his side. If he's as serious as you think he is, he'll respond himself without being nudged on to doing so.

ok i have read this can you help me understand this i've been dating a guy seance january 01/4/2008 hes in the milatary but has moved to this area about 6 years ago. hes not home alot but he calls me when ever hes away and emails me every other day and wants to see me when hes home. we normaly get to see each other twice a week because of his schudule and my scuhudle,

i work a lot of hours i get up at 3am every morning but we still make time for one another when hes home.
we haven't said we love one another yet but he has told me hes in this in for the long haul and he can't see him self with out me.... what does that mean? Do you think i have a chance with this guy? i'm very scared of being hurt and do not want my feeling to show yet how much i care for him but i think he knows what i'm feeling for him cause i have expressed some feeling towards him so he has got to know how i'm feeling

if you don't tell him how you feel if your to scared to connect with him then you could lose him. guys like to know how and what your feeling, they want to feel love. like for instance, when me and my future husband first started dating, i have been hurt in the past, and i was so scared that he would do that to me and he never did, but point being is that once i gave him my heart everything was so much better. we are engaged to be married we have known each other for 10 yrs, and have always had an eye for me been dating almost 8 months. i think that you shouldn't rush into anything and if you have to question wheather he loves you, than its rather clear that he doesn't, or if your just questioning it to get him or other people to tell you that he loves you when you know in your heart that he does then its time to grow up hun. if your not expressing your feelings to him and your scared than how do you know its love??? with love trust me if a guy really loves you he will go to any lengths to be with you, for example my wonderful fiance had no gas in his car and he drove a 20 mile drive for me and he staled out and he still managed to make it to my house, or when he walked from his house all the way to my house because he didn't have his car and he wanted to see me and thats a 2 hr walk. i much rather him show his love for me as opposed to just tell me how he's feeling because it means so much more and i knew my fiance loved me i was just in that mood of saying, "You don't care about me". the next nite he came over to my house and said don't you ever say that again.... Ok back to you if you only see each other twice a week and you work 24/7 chances are its not love how can it be you aren't hardly together, like with my boyfriend we see each other every single day. i'm not saying that you gotta be with him everyday but more than twice a week. ok he's in the military but if i was you i would look around at your options because he may very well love you i'm not doubting that, but he emails you???? if ya'll were to ever get married could you honestly live like that??? i will answer that question for you hell na you couldn't you would go crazy especially if you really love him. so if i was you i'd just stop worrying and move on with your life.

It's all about communication.

See i just got out of a relationship and i got my heart broke i ain't even gonna lie i didn't date or talk to any guys like try n to get with them or anything for almost 8 months. well like last week i guess i met this guy and well you know i stayed the night there with my friend jus to be chill n we'll shit happened and i don't regret any of it. Well he's age is like way to high for me but i don't forreal care age is nothing but a number. Well here's my point im not really questioning if he really likes or loves me because he's always telling me how he feels about me and what his thoughts are about me and not one time have i told him any of that kind of shit and he still tells me. we haven't been seeing each other for even a month yet not near it and he's already saying the (L word) and it's not like he's telling me that jus so that he can get in my pants because well that's already happened.. and we see each other as much as posible no matter what day or time it is were gonna see each other. right now he is out working with his step dad and he didn't call me for like two days which is cool because i know he's been really busy and his step dad don't like anyone using his phone because of his mins plus he has alot if shit going on right now. so my point is , is that just because a guy don't call you dont mean that he don't forreal like you they hace reasons why they can't do some things just like us girls do. now im gonna have to say that if you guys dont see each other that much and just tex all the time and talk on the phone that relationship isn't going anywhere sorry. but idn i jus thought i would share all that.

See i just got out of a relationship and i got my heart broke i ain't even gonna lie i didn't date or talk to any guys like try n to get with them or anything for almost 8 months. well like last week i guess i met this guy and well you know i stayed the night there with my friend jus to be chill n we'll shit happened and i don't regret any of it. Well he's age is like way to high for me but i don't forreal care age is nothing but a number. Well here's my point im not really questioning if he really likes or loves me because he's always telling me how he feels about me and what his thoughts are about me and not one time have i told him any of that kind of shit and he still tells me. we haven't been seeing each other for even a month yet not near it and he's already saying the (L word) and it's not like he's telling me that jus so that he can get in my pants because well that's already happened.. and we see each other as much as posible no matter what day or time it is were gonna see each other. right now he is out working with his step dad and he didn't call me for like two days which is cool because i know he's been really busy and his step dad don't like anyone using his phone because of his mins plus he has alot if shit going on right now. so my point is , is that just because a guy don't call you dont mean that he don't forreal like you they hace reasons why they can't do some things just like us girls do. now im gonna have to say that if you guys dont see each other that much and just tex all the time and talk on the phone that relationship isn't going anywhere sorry. but idn i jus thought i would share all that. oka well i guess ima tell you a little bit more girls after i say this you tell me that he don't got it bad for me....Whenever were together he's always holding me telling me how amazing i am and how much he never wants any of this to end and that he loves me i've never told him anything like that. okay here's one i HATE FEET!!! i cant stand them well he loves feet he's always rubbing my feet kissing them which is cute as hell but i also think is nasty at the same time... he never wants me to leave he always wants me to stay and jus lay with him and all that good stuff. we can be jus laying there for hours and not say one word and yet still know what each other is thinking wants to say or do it's an amazing feeling to have something like that..... i dont really know how to explain all of this all i know is that im falling for him and everything that he does and says to me i know is real and i dont have to question it one bit.

Ü

Guys dont try and contact you right after. trust me. sometimes the girls gotta go out and make the first step.

spelllling

ive been dating this guy for four years
and when we first got together he was really nice, caring, and thoughtful. he wanted to see me all he could..but i was young and didn't understand that and i didn't care. i kissed another guy and broke up with him. then we started dating again three months later. now if i ask him to come to my house. he either says can't or makes me feel bad for asking him to. he doesn't want to move three hours away with me. he has been putting our relationship down for the past two years. talking about how bad it is. and i get the feeling he isn't really in love with me. he's broken up with me four times now and within a few weeks after he does so he wants me back. he's the way i want him to be ..nice and thoughtful for about two months and then he just goes back to not caring any more.

The return and shift keys are your friends.

I don't agree with that Advice about a guy calling four times a week means he's interested. Evry other thing in the relationship is bollucks! As far as I'm concerned if the sex is great and the person makes me feel good about myself, I'll call seven nights a week without fail. JUST FOR SELF GRATIFICATION, sO PLEASE, tweek that advice Adam.

"The return and shift keys are your friends."

Hahaha! Thats hilarious :D

What if you are dating a man who works on a ship and is gone for two months at a time and when he see you he tells you he is falling in Love with you; but I have a hard time believing it because I don't think he shows me he is in love.(While aboard he calls me at least 5 times a week)I have not told him I love him.

Am dating this guys who's realy nice to me for a month now. Shows me lots of atention when we are together, but whenever we are apart he won't call, unless i made the first move. he says he doesn't like cell phones. But am wondering if that's nit an excuse for some sort of lack of interest in me. Furthermore am suspecting him to still be in love with his ex gf. He said he wasn't but he still checks her facebook whenever he has time, i found it out but didn't say anything.
Am falling for him, but don't know if i should let him know now or wait for him to do the first move

I really got a lot out of this article. It was my first one to read here on peoplejam. I think I'm hooked now. Thanks for writing it.
I have personal experience being "that girl." You know, the one who needs to know just exactly how he feels before he even knows how he feels. I've scared many a man away. Maybe it's for the best, I don't know. The man I'm with now was really weirded out by me in the beginning too. He had the same idea that the author of this blog does. He wanted to be with me all the time. That should have been enough to know how he felt. I wish I had read this article sooner. It might have saved me some embarrassment... but then again, I am grateful to have learned the lesson on my own too. My boyfriend could see who I was on the inside, and he knew that there was a special spark between us. He picked up on all the magical things I was picking up on too. He was just slower to talk about it.
I can't believe I was the girl that chased after the guy. I wish more women would learn to relax. In the long run, you'll end up with the man of your dreams, and you won't have to deal with or dish out as much drama.

Just chill ladies. And if he doesn't make the first step, what does that tell you? What kind of woman wants a man that doesn't want her enough to make the first move? Not me, that's for sure.

Thanks for the article!

Here's the thing I'm a bit iffy on. There's definitely a difference between "falling in love with you" and "woah! slow it down, buddy!" What I mean is...If they are calling you constantly right off the bat, it seems like that's more obsessive and not love. I'm fine with an attentive man, but I'm sure everyone has had an experience with someone who moves way too fast emotionally. I guess I just wonder at what point does it change from over attentive to love?

well me in this guy named carlos have been on and off for awhile wen i first liked him he liked me but was talkin to another girl so he seemed more interested in her then i went bak to my x he missed me in tried wit me wen me in my x broke up again we were talkin for awhile but then decided to go bak to my x then we broke up in months have passed carlos was talkin to a girl named cassi but wen i started txtin him again to say wats up like a friend he said i was in the picture again in from there we had started talkin i guess he asked me out cuz he was scared i would lose interest if he didmt well it only lasted for a week not even i guess he was confused supposelly he liked me but wasnt ready or something so i had started talkin to guy named ricky in he flipped the jealousy flipped in he realized he was stupid all his friends even would tell him in he wanted me i told him i dont wanna go bak to u knowin if i do ur confused if thats the case no i want a guy that knows what he wants if ur confuse date other girls in realize wat u want but dont come lookin for me until u know wat u want in u know its the like that can turn into love in he said its already like that he didnt wanna talk to other girls he just wanted me in he didnt wanna start over he wanted to go from here on out so we ended up talkin again n we still are like we kiss in we hangout alot in we have fun in hes still jealous showing that he cares but i feel like hes never gnna ask me out or what does this mean he told this to his friend i really like her alot but i dont wanna rush into it with her again cuz he wants it to actually workout this time around ?? you tell me

I had the same exact question when dating my wonderful husband that I went and bought a book called Is He Into You. I spent a few days reading the book and it wasn't helpful at all and then I found the answer-just ask him. Once we started communicating seriously about the relationship, then I knew we were on the same note. I have come to learn that men (most men) are not on the same thought level as us women so they don't always do what we expect in order to answer such questions as if he likes us or not. The writer is very correct about not forcing them to talk and just watch their feelings. Men tend to be very sincere in their actions. It may take time to see your answer but usually it isn't too long. You will find out if he's into you and will probably end up like me - happily...very happily married. This is a great article.

Good post. If he loves you, it should be obvious not only to you, but to everyone around you!

I disagree with this blog. How do you know that the guy's not waiting on the girl to make the first move? Or, how do you know that the guy's just not shy? You can't assume that every guy would do the same thing you would. When I first met my husband, it took him two months to call me. Why? Well, he lost my number. These things could happen to anyone. We've been married for a year now, and I can definately say that he's interested in me.

This article reminds me of how my husband and I met. Because I was in college, we were far away from each other. Although we were "just friends", we talked to each other for hours every night. I still had no clue that he liked me. Everyone else around me knew, except me. I definitely agree that those are the signs of love.