I can't speak for all men but from what I think, guys don't try to be complicated. If they like a girl, they want to see her more and that makes sense. If you can tell a guy is serious, there is no need to corner him in and make him tell you that. But if it is incredibly necessary to get some answer out of him, one method could be to just say how you feel about the relationship without sounding like you are expecting a response from his side. If he's as serious as you think he is, he'll respond himself without being nudged on to doing so.

ok i have read this can you help me understand this i've been dating a guy seance january 01/4/2008 hes in the milatary but has moved to this area about 6 years ago. hes not home alot but he calls me when ever hes away and emails me every other day and wants to see me when hes home. we normaly get to see each other twice a week because of his schudule and my scuhudle,

i work a lot of hours i get up at 3am every morning but we still make time for one another when hes home.
we haven't said we love one another yet but he has told me hes in this in for the long haul and he can't see him self with out me.... what does that mean? Do you think i have a chance with this guy? i'm very scared of being hurt and do not want my feeling to show yet how much i care for him but i think he knows what i'm feeling for him cause i have expressed some feeling towards him so he has got to know how i'm feeling

if you don't tell him how you feel if your to scared to connect with him then you could lose him. guys like to know how and what your feeling, they want to feel love. like for instance, when me and my future husband first started dating, i have been hurt in the past, and i was so scared that he would do that to me and he never did, but point being is that once i gave him my heart everything was so much better. we are engaged to be married we have known each other for 10 yrs, and have always had an eye for me been dating almost 8 months. i think that you shouldn't rush into anything and if you have to question wheather he loves you, than its rather clear that he doesn't, or if your just questioning it to get him or other people to tell you that he loves you when you know in your heart that he does then its time to grow up hun. if your not expressing your feelings to him and your scared than how do you know its love??? with love trust me if a guy really loves you he will go to any lengths to be with you, for example my wonderful fiance had no gas in his car and he drove a 20 mile drive for me and he staled out and he still managed to make it to my house, or when he walked from his house all the way to my house because he didn't have his car and he wanted to see me and thats a 2 hr walk. i much rather him show his love for me as opposed to just tell me how he's feeling because it means so much more and i knew my fiance loved me i was just in that mood of saying, "You don't care about me". the next nite he came over to my house and said don't you ever say that again.... Ok back to you if you only see each other twice a week and you work 24/7 chances are its not love how can it be you aren't hardly together, like with my boyfriend we see each other every single day. i'm not saying that you gotta be with him everyday but more than twice a week. ok he's in the military but if i was you i would look around at your options because he may very well love you i'm not doubting that, but he emails you???? if ya'll were to ever get married could you honestly live like that??? i will answer that question for you hell na you couldn't you would go crazy especially if you really love him. so if i was you i'd just stop worrying and move on with your life.

It's all about communication.

See i just got out of a relationship and i got my heart broke i ain't even gonna lie i didn't date or talk to any guys like try n to get with them or anything for almost 8 months. well like last week i guess i met this guy and well you know i stayed the night there with my friend jus to be chill n we'll shit happened and i don't regret any of it. Well he's age is like way to high for me but i don't forreal care age is nothing but a number. Well here's my point im not really questioning if he really likes or loves me because he's always telling me how he feels about me and what his thoughts are about me and not one time have i told him any of that kind of shit and he still tells me. we haven't been seeing each other for even a month yet not near it and he's already saying the (L word) and it's not like he's telling me that jus so that he can get in my pants because well that's already happened.. and we see each other as much as posible no matter what day or time it is were gonna see each other. right now he is out working with his step dad and he didn't call me for like two days which is cool because i know he's been really busy and his step dad don't like anyone using his phone because of his mins plus he has alot if shit going on right now. so my point is , is that just because a guy don't call you dont mean that he don't forreal like you they hace reasons why they can't do some things just like us girls do. now im gonna have to say that if you guys dont see each other that much and just tex all the time and talk on the phone that relationship isn't going anywhere sorry. but idn i jus thought i would share all that.

See i just got out of a relationship and i got my heart broke i ain't even gonna lie i didn't date or talk to any guys like try n to get with them or anything for almost 8 months. well like last week i guess i met this guy and well you know i stayed the night there with my friend jus to be chill n we'll shit happened and i don't regret any of it. Well he's age is like way to high for me but i don't forreal care age is nothing but a number. Well here's my point im not really questioning if he really likes or loves me because he's always telling me how he feels about me and what his thoughts are about me and not one time have i told him any of that kind of shit and he still tells me. we haven't been seeing each other for even a month yet not near it and he's already saying the (L word) and it's not like he's telling me that jus so that he can get in my pants because well that's already happened.. and we see each other as much as posible no matter what day or time it is were gonna see each other. right now he is out working with his step dad and he didn't call me for like two days which is cool because i know he's been really busy and his step dad don't like anyone using his phone because of his mins plus he has alot if shit going on right now. so my point is , is that just because a guy don't call you dont mean that he don't forreal like you they hace reasons why they can't do some things just like us girls do. now im gonna have to say that if you guys dont see each other that much and just tex all the time and talk on the phone that relationship isn't going anywhere sorry. but idn i jus thought i would share all that. oka well i guess ima tell you a little bit more girls after i say this you tell me that he don't got it bad for me....Whenever were together he's always holding me telling me how amazing i am and how much he never wants any of this to end and that he loves me i've never told him anything like that. okay here's one i HATE FEET!!! i cant stand them well he loves feet he's always rubbing my feet kissing them which is cute as hell but i also think is nasty at the same time... he never wants me to leave he always wants me to stay and jus lay with him and all that good stuff. we can be jus laying there for hours and not say one word and yet still know what each other is thinking wants to say or do it's an amazing feeling to have something like that..... i dont really know how to explain all of this all i know is that im falling for him and everything that he does and says to me i know is real and i dont have to question it one bit.

Ü

Guys dont try and contact you right after. trust me. sometimes the girls gotta go out and make the first step.

spelllling

ive been dating this guy for four years
and when we first got together he was really nice, caring, and thoughtful. he wanted to see me all he could..but i was young and didn't understand that and i didn't care. i kissed another guy and broke up with him. then we started dating again three months later. now if i ask him to come to my house. he either says can't or makes me feel bad for asking him to. he doesn't want to move three hours away with me. he has been putting our relationship down for the past two years. talking about how bad it is. and i get the feeling he isn't really in love with me. he's broken up with me four times now and within a few weeks after he does so he wants me back. he's the way i want him to be ..nice and thoughtful for about two months and then he just goes back to not caring any more.

The return and shift keys are your friends.

I don't agree with that Advice about a guy calling four times a week means he's interested. Evry other thing in the relationship is bollucks! As far as I'm concerned if the sex is great and the person makes me feel good about myself, I'll call seven nights a week without fail. JUST FOR SELF GRATIFICATION, sO PLEASE, tweek that advice Adam.

"The return and shift keys are your friends."

Hahaha! Thats hilarious :D

What if you are dating a man who works on a ship and is gone for two months at a time and when he see you he tells you he is falling in Love with you; but I have a hard time believing it because I don't think he shows me he is in love.(While aboard he calls me at least 5 times a week)I have not told him I love him.

Am dating this guys who's realy nice to me for a month now. Shows me lots of atention when we are together, but whenever we are apart he won't call, unless i made the first move. he says he doesn't like cell phones. But am wondering if that's nit an excuse for some sort of lack of interest in me. Furthermore am suspecting him to still be in love with his ex gf. He said he wasn't but he still checks her facebook whenever he has time, i found it out but didn't say anything.
Am falling for him, but don't know if i should let him know now or wait for him to do the first move

I really got a lot out of this article. It was my first one to read here on peoplejam. I think I'm hooked now. Thanks for writing it.
I have personal experience being "that girl." You know, the one who needs to know just exactly how he feels before he even knows how he feels. I've scared many a man away. Maybe it's for the best, I don't know. The man I'm with now was really weirded out by me in the beginning too. He had the same idea that the author of this blog does. He wanted to be with me all the time. That should have been enough to know how he felt. I wish I had read this article sooner. It might have saved me some embarrassment... but then again, I am grateful to have learned the lesson on my own too. My boyfriend could see who I was on the inside, and he knew that there was a special spark between us. He picked up on all the magical things I was picking up on too. He was just slower to talk about it.
I can't believe I was the girl that chased after the guy. I wish more women would learn to relax. In the long run, you'll end up with the man of your dreams, and you won't have to deal with or dish out as much drama.

Just chill ladies. And if he doesn't make the first step, what does that tell you? What kind of woman wants a man that doesn't want her enough to make the first move? Not me, that's for sure.

Thanks for the article!

Here's the thing I'm a bit iffy on. There's definitely a difference between "falling in love with you" and "woah! slow it down, buddy!" What I mean is...If they are calling you constantly right off the bat, it seems like that's more obsessive and not love. I'm fine with an attentive man, but I'm sure everyone has had an experience with someone who moves way too fast emotionally. I guess I just wonder at what point does it change from over attentive to love?

well me in this guy named carlos have been on and off for awhile wen i first liked him he liked me but was talkin to another girl so he seemed more interested in her then i went bak to my x he missed me in tried wit me wen me in my x broke up again we were talkin for awhile but then decided to go bak to my x then we broke up in months have passed carlos was talkin to a girl named cassi but wen i started txtin him again to say wats up like a friend he said i was in the picture again in from there we had started talkin i guess he asked me out cuz he was scared i would lose interest if he didmt well it only lasted for a week not even i guess he was confused supposelly he liked me but wasnt ready or something so i had started talkin to guy named ricky in he flipped the jealousy flipped in he realized he was stupid all his friends even would tell him in he wanted me i told him i dont wanna go bak to u knowin if i do ur confused if thats the case no i want a guy that knows what he wants if ur confuse date other girls in realize wat u want but dont come lookin for me until u know wat u want in u know its the like that can turn into love in he said its already like that he didnt wanna talk to other girls he just wanted me in he didnt wanna start over he wanted to go from here on out so we ended up talkin again n we still are like we kiss in we hangout alot in we have fun in hes still jealous showing that he cares but i feel like hes never gnna ask me out or what does this mean he told this to his friend i really like her alot but i dont wanna rush into it with her again cuz he wants it to actually workout this time around ?? you tell me

I had the same exact question when dating my wonderful husband that I went and bought a book called Is He Into You. I spent a few days reading the book and it wasn't helpful at all and then I found the answer-just ask him. Once we started communicating seriously about the relationship, then I knew we were on the same note. I have come to learn that men (most men) are not on the same thought level as us women so they don't always do what we expect in order to answer such questions as if he likes us or not. The writer is very correct about not forcing them to talk and just watch their feelings. Men tend to be very sincere in their actions. It may take time to see your answer but usually it isn't too long. You will find out if he's into you and will probably end up like me - happily...very happily married. This is a great article.

Good post. If he loves you, it should be obvious not only to you, but to everyone around you!

I disagree with this blog. How do you know that the guy's not waiting on the girl to make the first move? Or, how do you know that the guy's just not shy? You can't assume that every guy would do the same thing you would. When I first met my husband, it took him two months to call me. Why? Well, he lost my number. These things could happen to anyone. We've been married for a year now, and I can definately say that he's interested in me.

This article reminds me of how my husband and I met. Because I was in college, we were far away from each other. Although we were "just friends", we talked to each other for hours every night. I still had no clue that he liked me. Everyone else around me knew, except me. I definitely agree that those are the signs of love.

this can be effective. it only will work if you know how to read your man in the first place.

WELL I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY BUT IM THE ONE ALWAYS CALLIN HIM H DDOESNT CALL M DIS HAS BEEN HAPPNING 4 5 MONTHS BUT SUDDENLY IV STOPPED BECOUSE I DONT WANT HIM TINKIN IM DESPERATE BUT LATELY H IS CALLING M AND TEXTING M BUT IS ALWAYS CONSTANTLY SAYIN H LOVES GIRLS DEY R DIS AND DAT EVAN DOUGH H KNOWS I LOVE HIM PLESE CAN U TELL M WAT TO DO AND H WANTS 2 SEE M WEL H SAID 2 M B FREINDS BUT DATS HARD 4 M AND DONT KNOW WAT 2 DO

I think men are basically programmed the same way. yes, they may vary, but basically, are the same.
for example:
i believe these things and go by these rules when i am dating a guy:
-i never call first or text first. they can text me.(this shows me how interested they are)
-i wait a while before doing anything sexual. if they stick around, it may mean they're serious.
-do a little snooping. honestly, going through a guys cell can be a rude wake up call. this is only for the brave hearted. i did this with a guy i had been dating for six months, and i found out from his cell that he had a girlfriend for THREE years, and she was living with HIM.
-don't change your personality for him. it'll end up coming out anyways, and it's never good to be deceiving.

in my own opinion i cant tell whether the guy loves me.We have known each other for some time and as time went by i started to develop some feelings towards him.Every time he appears my heart beats very fast and i feel nervous.The way he looks at me makes me to skip my breath like what i just experienced yesterday afternoon.The look in his eyes is so full of love and i have fallen in love with him and i want a serious relationship with him but he hasnt said a word to me.

These people need to learn how to spell , especially on the net. I hate it when a man can't spell. Think about how a man thinks when a girl that he is interested in can't spell. That is a big turn off. Come on this blog has a spell check. This is something both men and women need to see ,and learn if they want somebody. I think it is the biggest turn off when a man I was interested in can't spell . Then I thin twice , how smart is this man ?

haha..yes! =]..i agree. learn how to spell! lol, no but other then that...if a guy isn't interested in you, you will know...or you should know. If you knowticed he's not. please Dont go after him, a girl shouldnt have to do that, thats they guys job =] , when a guy is really interested in you or loves you he will go after you no matter what it takes=]...i dont go after guys, thats just not me, if he doesnt call..oh well his loss =]...everything comes at its right time =].

there is this guy that i seeing .. i am really into him and he always tells me that he wants to be with me and loves me, but i am not sure if i should believe him. he calls me onece a day.. and just tells me to come over without asking how my days was or anything. i just thunk he wants to get in pants.. and he smiles and looks at me alot... i am like so confused

juss wait n see how long he can hold on without getting "it". if he realy loves you like he says,,,hel wait,,if he starts to stress about getting in your pants,..,, then there may be a problem.....but in saying that,,..relationships are not black n white,,,,you may start off by having sex,,,and things may still grow from there into a happy relationship,,..it jus depends on the both of u..but share happy moments together,,be the best n not the worst you can be around him,,make him miss u wen u not there,,,that works a treat for me ol the time

Ok i was in a connited relationship lasted 22 years im 42 now , i dated and even lived with another man after the first one 3 years later of course but my point is and here it is i started this new job and i was working with this one guy that i kept forgetting his name for some odd reason ? but he had this cologne on and it was really smelling good we started talking and next thing we started to stare at each other and it doesnt even matter who was looking we would stare and stare hard for a week and we smiled more often next thing he gave me his cell i gave him mine we talked and i found out in communication and going on dates that he was my destiny and im his, we both admitted that because it wasnt only staring it was a feeling that me and him had towards each other that does not go away for nothing he calls every night after dropping me off , we have alot of things in common we think the same on life and problems , colors and we have been through the same things with relationships , we always laugh at stupid things , and most of all our eyes tell everything thing about ourselves including these wonderful feelings of being in love is the eyes , we both agreed we would not rush into anything and we took it slow and we both GREW everything grew more stronger we went to dinner and finally decided to speak the truth about our feelings he said to me he is falling hard for me he said REALLY HARD and we havent had SEX yet that day will come and believe me it will be explosive so my point is WE ARE MENTALLY , PHYSICALLY , EMOTIONALLY IN LOVE when your in love YOU will know what you feel and what the guy feels right away WITHOUT asking anything you will truly know he is the one inside and out if you have to ask how he feels and your not sure then its a 50/ 50 chance he might he might not , but when you know its 100% we are in love that we dont care if we kiss hold hands in public we show our feelings anywhere his eyes captured my heart and mine to him this is going to sound corny to some people but when i am in a quiet state in time and thinking about him HE CALLS AT THAT POINT IN TIME its amazing it happens alot and vice versa so yes thank god he is the ONE , my destiny thank you i hope this helps alot

I have met a man on a dating website have been talking to him for nearly 4 months. Everything was going fine did the usual naughty texts and a couple of phone calls but since december haven't heard from him as much. I know he has a busy job I have texted him to check he is still alive and he then reply to say sorry he's busy but then I don't hear from him again for 3 to 4 days. He did texts me over xmas and new year but I am just really confused. Have texted to say if he isn't interested I'd leave him alone but then he reply's to say he is mad busy at work. What is going on. Argh!

ive been with my boyfriend for three months now, before hand i was with a total ****** and got my heart broke all my trust went in men completely! then i met my boyfriend who i love to bits! At first i though yeah just like the rest how long will this last ? but to my knowledge its better then ever! i think deep inside you know he loves you, ur gut instint just tells you inside somewhere that he is the right one for you, so dont give up on something that can work out you've just got to give it time, if your mind tells you different get rid!! hope my answer helps

My man got his heart broken really bad last year and is now afraid to tell me how he feels. I know he loves me and I have told him this, he doesn't deny it just says he is not ready to tell me. I can live with that. His actions show louder than words how he feels about me. He is attentive, takes me places I have never been just to see the joy in my eyes when we get there. Always makes sure he has food for me in his fridge, will not buy salty foods anymore because I can't have salt. Always makes sure I have shampoo and conditioner even though he is bald. Anywhere we go I am always within touching distance of him so he can hold my hand, grab my butt, put is arm around me whatever. At night he is always the first to cuddle, wraps around me like a pretzel and if he doesn't he pulls my arm around him holding my hand tight and close to his chest. Every morning, I wake up to him wrappped up in me. He won't tell me he loves me, but I don't need him to, to know that he does.

There is this guy I meet on a dating site. The sex was really good. I had gotten locked up and lost touch. When I was available I called him up. He said then, he wanted to meet, he missed me, i missed him, he was glad i was okay. I thought we had a good conversation and i was waiting for him to call me back. He never called so I finally called him and he told me he was seeing someone. He said he did't cheat and I didn't either. So I kind of let it go. This week I found his number it's been almost a year since we talked. I asked him the same question he said 'he was kinda seeing someone' I said I see and left it at that. He texted me back 'no she's not my girlfriend so I guess we can hook up' I told him I liked being with him and am open to meet if he was free. We've talked through IM, I've called him three times and he hasn't answered my calls. He text me back occassionally. It sucks so bad because when I was away I found out how much I cared about him. I haven't heard from him in two days! It's driving me crazy. I feel so stupid for putting in the energy. And I can't help feeling that he is going to just say...'well actaully I'm kind of seeing someone.'
I'm bad at realationships but really love sex so I put up with a lot of crap...I feel like I'm not doing myself any favors and relationships just scare me...I hate hat i put myself in a situation to get hurt again. If I loved myself I wouldn't dare...That's all I have to say.

I interacted with a man on matrimonial advert, we became great friends via emails, chatting and sms, he called me once but he is so scared to meet me face to face. I have fallen in love with him and I know he cares deeply for me as he keeps sending me gifts and lovable quotes and sms's. But I dont know why he is scared to meet me in person.

i wish you people luck!!!!! i would like to have a boyfriend myself,but i just don't want to get hurt,i think a guy in one of my classes likes me but i don't know and i'm kind of shy,anyway GOOD LUCK!!!!

My love for my x is so very real and getting obsessed with it more everyday. he is remarried and loves her very much, but he is still in love with me. told family member if he wasnt married he and i would be back together. can this happen, will this happen, and when will this happen?

He tells me that he loves me everyday atleast 25-50 times a day. It's been approx 7months. What is this????????????????????????

Ok, I need a person who doesn't know me's opinion on my situation.
I dated a guy for two months we broke up becasue I noticed he was where I was a year and a half ago feeling lost, and confused on what he wanted to do with his life.
Us breaking up was like this. He said before he met me he knew what he wanted, new where he was going in his life. Then I happened, and He started feeling lost because he didn't know what he really wanted anymore because he is in love with me, but yet doesn't know where to go from where he is.

So we broke up its been a month we have talked the whole time, he still tells me he loves me. still cares about me still wants to see me makes time to see me cancels all his plans when i have a day off just so he can see me.

Two weekends ago i stayed over at his house. nothing happened between us but we had the biggest argument we ever have had. I tried to leave his house he stepped infront of the door telling me to sit down and talk to him. I am one of those girls the first sign of a fight i run i hate arguing always have. I kept telling him no and he finally had this look of defeat on his face and stepped aside at that point he had a look of pain, shock and fear on his face.
So I sat down and we talked for two and half hours about how i had been feeling how he was feeling about the situation. "BTW I broke up with him so he could focus on what he needed to do in his life, he didn't want to break up. he was just wanting to talk. which we talked but the fact i love him like i do i broke it off so he didn't have the added presure." He at that point told me that he knew for sure who really cared and loved him. uncoditionally. And that from day one he has been in love with me and is still in love with me at this point. and sees us ending up together in the end. that night i ended up staying cause it got to late for me to drive home as i live 30 minutes from him and had to work the next day and work in the town he lives in. so i climbed into "my side" of the bed and him in his about 10 minutes of laying there trying to get comfy he turned over put his arm under my head and pulled me close to him and held me like that all night. Which this has been something he's done since we first got together.

So the next thing that happened was this last weekend. I stayed again. On the way back to his house from dinner, he told me that his status on facebook was actually tlaking about how he had figured out what he wanted in life and everything.
I left the conversation at that. and we spent the night together again and ended up having relations that night.
i woke up with his arms around me again feeling better then ever. we woke up at 10 am and i had fell back asleep given the fact i work 40 hour weeks plus over time sometimes when icome over i'm exhausted and i honestly only get a sound sleep when i'm around him. I dont know why it just happens that way. I also bought him a bean bag chair gaming chair for his room for his birthday cause he has a bad back cause of a car accident and he was kinda mad at me for buying it but he was really happy with it he doens't like me spending money on him. but he appreciates it because i get him things he needs or things i think he could get a big use out of so he didn't stay mad he thanked me for it and he sits there and does his school work on his computer instead of using his bed with pillows which was causeing back pain "hes a college student, and works full time as well"

but I ended up leaving at 2 pm that day, he brought my over night bag out to my car loaded it for me, hugged me and kissed me and he always kisses me the same way when i leave he puts his hands on my face in a caress and pulls me as close to him as possible. He tells me to drive safe and I go home. When i got home i texted him asking him what he wanted in life sense he said he knew now, and he answered A FAMILY. I asked him where i fit into the equation as of right now. he answered you may be the one i have kids with, we just have to work on our friendship/relationship. his reasoning behind this is as of right now we are still not back together because i have a lot on my plate as well because i just got a promotion at work. so i've been super busy and stressed out and i dont want him to worry about me so we are kind of together but yet not official because of everything going on in life right now and thats where we should be as of right now given our age. I'm not wanting to rush anything but I just wonder. if he's feeling the same way about me as I do him. I love him uncoditionally even if we dont ever get back togehter i will always be there for him and he knows that. i've told him that

All my guy friends think I found my soul mate, or that he is going to propose. what do you guys think??

Is he playing me or is he for real
cause he talks about the future sometimes
he'll say things like when we live together
and stuff like that.
and he says he loves me. and that i'm just like him
and he doesn't want me to be perfect because perfect would be boring
"please help"

-sincerely
-confused 20 year old girl that had her feet planted firmly but now not so sure about her path