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How a Guy Chooses between Two Women

VTCastle's picture
Posted by VTCastle on March 9, 2008 7:12 PM PDT
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Guys are interesting specimens when forced to decide between two women. Our basic instinct of "I want it all" can reek havoc with our sense of right and wrong (if we have one) thanks to our innate desire to conquer the world one woman at a time.

How we make our choice between two (or more) women when given the opportunity to be with both, depends upon a myriad of factors. The process begins with the type of guy is pushing the decision button.

Is he a mama's boy who needs constant attention? Did he have a psycho ex-girlfriend that stalked him for a few years? Maybe have a girl fake a pregnancy just to keep him around? All are viable questions with what make us think the way we do.

I'm sure the ever popular "he's a dog" principle is coming to mind as well, and yes, this one is also inherently true. I've personally known guys to keep 5 or more women at the ready, just so a Saturday night roll in the hay was a guaranteed event. Rest assured, I'm not avoiding the subject. Just trying to move to more underlying rationals of why men choose a particular woman other than the size of her rack or the J-Lo bootie comparisons.

So what are the logical progressions of thought in this process? The order might be off somewhat, but this is basically how it goes:

Which one am I attracted to the most?
Typical response, nothing new here. Does he prefer blondes over brunettes? Does he have a thing for girls who remind him of his mother? Oedipus complexes were not one of Freud's half baked ideas in between daily cocaine and tea times.

Which one will be the best choice for me?
Again, typical response. Does he trust one woman more than the other? Is one lower maintenance than the other? How well do we gel as a couple?

What are her morals and/or ethics like?
If you got your heart trampled on like a doormat in the last go round, its likely you will not choose the girl with the mischievous smile. Unless she falls into the nice rack category, but then again, you're not really choosing to be with a girl. Just having your way with her for the interim soul searching session.

How intelligent is she?
What does she do for a living? Did she get a college degree? Some men are easily intimidated by powerful women, while others, might consider it a turn on

What type of family does she have?
Guys really look at this one if she is commitment material. No guy wants a whack job for a mother-in-law or an overly protective father-in-law fearful of losing his little girl.

How well does she fit into his lifestyle?
If there are consistent conflicts because he is always gone on business, or has a flirtacious nature about him with other women, how does this affect their quality time together? Jealousy or territorial behaviors are often quick deal breakers for a guy seeking a relationship.

Does she fit the role of a wife, and many times, the role of a mother for his future children?
This is probably the most difficult question of them all. At least for those who like to plan ahead for the future. More often than not, this conversation is held over beers or other social events with his friends. Guys in their mid 20s to mid 30s are most often to do this because we have had several girls in our past we can either pull out from the little black book, or those confronted by two suitable candidates for his bride to be.

To be honest, I'm sure there are many more ideas that I've excluded. These are but a few circulating through the mind of a low 30s average guy (i.e. me) who went through a similar situation some time ago. I found that my reasoning was based off of our ability to interact well together no matter the circumstances, and the woman that would provide the best possible future for she and I, and any other rug rats that might come along.

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Ha ha this article is such bs

here is how men choose between two women

1. Who is the best looking?

2. See 1

Anonymous's picture

Nice!

Anonymous's picture

yeah... i believe the comment above me...

thats usually what happens... I'm the smarter, ok looking one, very caring, but good didnt bless me with breast... nor do I have long hair. I'm doomed, always am.

oh well.

Anonymous's picture

Good post. I can never figure out what guys are thinking when they choose one girl over another!

divaparalegal's picture

If only it were so.... I don't think many of us are so thoughtful in choosing one over the other, male or female. But it's a great fantasy theory!

ysomogyi's picture

Actually, Freud's theory of the Oedipus Complex (and many of his theories, in fact) have been discredited by most of the scientific community.

I'd also like to point out that most men are not, as you've stated, turned off by a woman who is territorial. Quite the opposite, really. Many men consider it a turn on when a woman is willing to fight for her "territory".

ninedosus's picture

Attraction isn't a logical process, although its more predictable in men. Most men won't choose unless they are forced to, unless one woman is obviously unsatisfactory. If a man is the type to be dating more than one woman in the first place, he's likely to be non-committal. Men primarily pair up for a "guarantee" of sex, but the alpha men among us know that limiting your options is counterproductive to having your way with women. Women seem to universally sense when they have you "in the bag" and stop trying to please you as they did when they were in competition with other women. The winner in such a competition is likely to be the one who waits the other out, all else equal.

http://alphadominance.com

Anonymous's picture

As a woman, I'm definitely interested in how men think. This article helps me to understand a little bit better about how men choose between two women. Well written, and well placed sarcasm!

kel12347's picture

interesting thoughts. sometimes it seems like guys are way more interested in a rack than a brain, or a butt than a personality... but there's no discounting the need for the species to survive. for some guys that means pure physical attraction gets trumped by other less tangible qualities. nice blog.

zoesmomknits's picture

It's funny. As superficial as guys can be, when put in front of two women, it really does often break down like this. As a guy, even if i were choosing between two girls that I didn't think I would last long with, I would break the situation down a lot like this, often times without realizing it.

jonnyc55's picture

This is an interesting blog to read, because as a girl, I always wanted to know what was going on in the guy's head that I'm dating. As I was reading through the list, I realize that this is what I look for in a guy too! I think the difference between men and women is the order of importance that the list goes, not necessarily what's on the list.

euroni's picture

I agree with all your points!

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Anonymous's picture

How intelligent is she? That is a good question. You dont want some stupid girl ruining your life making 5,000 dollars a year. I understand that love isnt money, but i still think its a big deal.

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