So you did the unthinkable didn't you? You went and got yourself trapped by that hot little honey you met at happy hour last November.

What were you thinking Mr. Lifelong Bachelor? You missed half of football season following this girl around like a lost puppy, and now you're saddled with a girlfriend plus all the crap that comes along with it.

You know better than this. Don't you!

It's been 3 long months of dealing with her annoying little rat dog that goes by the name Mr. Bonkers. Your diet has shifted from microwave pizza to heart healthy multi-grain pasta. Your guy friends have almost forgotten your name because you haven't showed for Monday Night Football since you met her. The final coup de grace was delivered by your best friend when he noticed you reeked of her favorite perfume.

That's it! The girl has to go, but wait a second, your dumbass forgot that Valentines Day is just around the corner.

How do you get rid of her now? Especially when she has taken over your shower with cutesy candles and the dreaded pink loofah. You could be a complete jerk, but you know that she has several hot girlfriends and don't want to burn any future bridges by getting tagged with a bad reputation.

This will require some serious thought and a healthy dose of subterfuge. But what type of Dr. Evil genius tricks can you execute and not get busted?

The Work Excuse
This old tried and true method works 90% of the time. Essentially, you hang out at work until 9pm each night and constantly complain about your job killing you. She will likely meet you with kindness and might even bring you dinner a few times (bonus!), but eventually she will get annoyed and bring it up. That's your cue to give the “I need to focus on my career” speech.

The Issues Excuse
This one is a bit tricky because unless you have a real issue (i.e. Ex-girlfriend, Oedipus complex, etc.) you have to enter the lying side of the game, and unless you're a pro, don't bother. If you can execute this one, lay low for a few weeks after the break up or switch to hangouts on the other side of town.

The Differences Excuse
This is a great one that rarely gets enough credit because its often used up front in the early phases of dating. Find a moment where you disagree strongly with her and make it an overblown issue. The best topics for this are generally politics or religion. However, the perfect deal breaker is having the much dreaded conversation about the number of sexual partners both of you have been with. If she has a large number, start freaking out and call it quits but in a polite, firm manner saying you'll never trust her or its against your beliefs. If she has a low number, say that yours is over 100 hoping she will never call you again.

These are just three examples of how to ditch your girlfriend if you're not certain she is the one for you. However, I must stress that this isn't junior high so if you're going to break up with her, you should do it as a gentleman and not behave like a high school freshman passing notes in study hall. After all, you dated this woman for a reason and you might find yourself begging her back on your hands and knees.

Trust me, the right woman for each of us is very hard to find. Everyone has a certain someone that's perfect for you. Don't even think that you're perfect and she's the one with the problem. Therefore, if you must break this woman's heart just before Valentines Day make sure its for the best.

Good luck Mr. Heartbreaker!