At first I would like to extend Amanda's question ""Why do women fake orgasms?" "Why?" from man point of view and then refer to all posts and comments as well...
1. Women fake to satisfy men telling him this way he is a good one
( assuming she wants to meet him next time).
2. Women fake because she is afraid to lose man, who may think she is a frigid woman.
3. Women do this because they have enough and want this way tell man to stop his efforts.. :(
4. Women fake because now days it is trendy to have always orgasm.
5. Women fake because they want to be like man who have always orgasms.
Now days sex is regarded as something trendy - desirable giving pleasure called orgasm. Many guys and girls look for quick sex to relieve tension and feel well afterwards. It is natural and there are many ways to do this - so called sex equipment for men and women offered by sex shops, porno films teaching how "to satisfy sb." using different methods sex techniques and so on..

But something was lost what..? It is love, real love - human deep real love not like animals do only sex. Sex without love is just like sex with an "equipment" where the other person is only some kind of thing and we are waiting to satisfy us of course thinking about ourselves not about the other side - better or worse "equipment".
A couple, who really love, do not expect orgasm while having sex it comes naturally without any techniques and efforts.
Pity so many lonely guys and girls look for sex not for love there wouldn't be so many "fakers" - person who fakes an orgasm and losers as well.
At the end, an anatomy and women psychology. Women apart from diverse sex "hidden" organs are periodical men are stable one animals. Men who is healthy and rest may have sex and many, many orgasms. Women once a month having ovulation is sweet like a chocolate and orgasm comes naturally. After ovulation and before it she needs touching, gentle touching talking understanding and so on.
Men who does not know this truth will never satisfy her at that days..
Not only men are to blame. Women forget about this too - why? because they want to be as we men always ready to have orgasm and expect something sometimes unreachable. The result - she fake orgasm and thinks she is as "good" as men but it will never be true she is DIFFERENT! and that does not mean worse of course.

I think a lot of women (and probably men) are confusing loud emotional orgasms with something you'd hear in a porno. HUGE difference. One is very obviously a shout of enjoyment and pleasure being let loose and can be rewarding in its effect. The other is just silly noise quite obviously fake, and if you watched any porno with fake acting, you'd know what that sounded like. It's not appealing, it's not a turn on, and it's not real. How men get off with girls who do it is beyond me.

You're right about the talking afterwards. A female orgasm is just as - if not more - powerful and energy draining as a man's. There's no way she will not want to fall asleep afterwards, unless she has enough energy left to orgasm again, like I usually do. ;)

And just another note, I make all kinds of noises and curse and swear when I orgasm, so there goes the porno-sounding theory, too! ;)

Oh....and I'm 38 now, just of note, and I've been orgasming at least - at least - 5 times a week practically my whole life. I think that's why I look so much younger than I really am....

I can make myself orgasm in 1 minute or less just by rubbing and pressing my clitoris against the sheets on my bed mattress. Look...no hands! I've been this way since I was a child of at least 8 years of age, as far back as I can remember. If my partner is inserted from behind and I'm doing this, it's really over the top and a lot of fluid comes out. Sorry to be so graphic; just trying to be detailed. I don't understand why other women have such problems with this. So much for your 6-minute rule. Oh, and my pupils don't always dilate, and my nipples don't always get hard like I've heard others say are sures signs of not faking. And yes, women can fake the spasms of their vaginas; it's like doing Kegel excercises. Sorry guys, but you may never truly know.

OMG--it's so true! Although any man I know who reads this post will think he's The One who has never had a partner fake it. Loved your list of the different kinds of orgasms, too!

I don't believe the six minute thing is true. everyone's body is different, so why wouldn't it be possible for someone besides yourself to orgasm under 6 minutes? that's silly.

baaaaahahahahahahahaha.

At least one if these isn't true.

I'm loud as hell (we had a stereo on, all the way up, and someone heard me a house away), and I don't fake it.

I have been with many many women. My record for gifting women with massive orgasms is unblemished. I usually start with anal sex. I do it hard and fast. I never waste time with any of the 'continental techniques'. Women like it that way. After I few minutes, I switch to lengthing the vag, and insert a Snickers bar in the anus while I finish up with the vag. It's always messy on the sheets, but the women thank me for the orgasms I give.

6 minutes?? Why on earth does it take you six minutes to orgasm by yourself? Start to finish, I am done in 30 seconds if I want to be. Did I mention I am a female as well?

Written by a woman.. Because they think men care.

Its hard for a man to fake it without the woman noticing, unless you use a condom and dispose of it quickly. I once dated a girl who would freak out if i didnt get off and accuse me of cheating or that i thought she was unattractive. Both women and men can be insecure on this issue.

BTW, Many women are there own worst enemy in the orgasm department. You cant complain if all you do is lay there and/or take orders. Give orders and move, find out what you enjoy. Men do not magically know what your thinking. I know you are surprised to hear this considering women will always think that men should always know what your thinking.

Relationships are not movies, soaps, love books, ect. Relationships are real life and in real life you need communication not "you should know what i want"

I'm a man and I've faked cumming too. Sometimes just to get it over with once she's done.

Very nice points..

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so true that a woman who has had an orgasm doesn't talk!! we're just basking in the glow of it still tingling and enjoying!!

I'm with Beth. There's no room in a healthy relationship for dishonesty.

Women can have ORGASMS...???

Its simple, because most men can't naturally give a woman one.

Looks like a lot of people, except for Beth, have faked it for all kinds of reasons: pity, sympathy, fatigue, fear of disappointing, politeness. Kinda silly, but then everyone's kinda silly in their own way. It's hard to get past the fears, whatever they are- rejection, anxiety, shame. All I know is orgasm feels better than fear, so better to take a deep breath and ask for what you want if you think it's worth your time and effort.

"Why do women fake orgasms?" "Why?" I asked. "Because they think guys care." The way he sees it, "as long as she looks like she got off, I'll take it!"

He mentioned that as a straight male, he's faked a couple orgasms himself. The way he put it was, "you're drunk, she's drunk, you know you're not going to come, so why not just go to sleep."

Great idea about the penalty flag. So many people go through life out of touch with their bodies nevermind understanding their partner's- men or women. Also, everyone is different. Just because one of your exes liked a particular technique doesn't mean your next boyfriend or girlfriend will like the same thing.

Sex is NOT one-size-fits-all. It's like driving a car. You wouldn't drive a Jaguar like you would a soccer mom mini-van, would you? Well, some people would, hence the problem.

We get unglued about not performing well and don't pay attention to how the other person responds to our touch, sounds and tastes. Think about how many people keep their eyes closed while having sex. No wonder so many of us are oblivious. It really is the blind leading the blind.

Both of you make great points. If a couple isn't mutually satisfied, eventually you'll resent the other person and withdraw emotionally and physically. Once that happens, you're just hanging out in the relationship, feeling angry and bad and that's not living.

Or, one or both people have affairs, justifying it because they can't get it at home. It's also time to move on if that happens. Cheating is the cowardly way to end a relationship. Besides, if you can't directly communicate your needs and end things properly in your current relationship, you'll just keep doing the same thing in subsequent relationships.

I began reading this post thinking I would not be able to relate. Well I was wrong. Who doesn't fake an orgasm? Haven't we all at one time or another. I know you'r saying "your a male you know nothing about faking an orgasm". Well first of all im only part male. Second of all, there Are Not A Lot of sexual postions gay men such as myself can perform. Some men are kinky, and when one sucks on your whole foot, which happened to me a few weeks ago. What do I do? Do I enjoy it? NO, but I don't want him to feel awkward so I pretend to enjoy it, even if I do moan a little louder than usual.

I have never had my foot sucked on before that day, and believe me I hope I never have to fake my enjoyment again.

What a great post. Really enjoyed it and maybe even learned something - of course no one has ever faked it with me ;-). My favorite line "Men bitch that women want to talk after sex. Yeah. Know why? Because they're faking their orgasms." I really never understood the mind of a women on this issue. MAYBE if it is a one night stand and you will never see the guy again - so yeah you wasted some time, he got off, you didn't and then you move on - but in a relationship? talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face. If the guy you are with is so insecure that he is not willing and able to take some constructive criticism, maybe you should move on. Sex (like everything) has to be about mutual satisfaction. That does not mean you always have to have an orgasm, sometimes an orgasm is not important (tantric, etc) - but faking it - sad...

Love the post, and I agree with Beth about not faking it. I thought it very interesting about the whole "a man doesn't have the same equipment" thing. Sometimes it makes me smile with joy that my partner has the same "equipment" and....well, you get the point.

I do wonder, however, if sometimes some folks think the female body really IS that elevator button or radio knob or a drag strip for the "off to the races" or "burn up the pavement" kind of person.

I've talked with some of my female friends (gay and non-gay) who feel like they were being treated like that elevator. I didn't know what to say to them then, and I still don't know what to say now.

I guess I'd have to compare it to football......a penalty flag should be tossed for a personal foul--improper use of hands. The penalty results in a five hour rest period with manadorty research on how to properly use "the equipment".

Tell me about it. I'm in my 30s and tend to date men at least 10-15 years older than me. One would think these guys would have plenty of experience under their collective belts, especially the divorced ones.

I don't know how many times I've stopped myself from blurting out something like, "Are you kidding me? That's it?" I learned the "hard" way it's best not to say anything too castrating in the presence of an erection lest you scare it away. Whoopsy.

In an ideal world, sure, no one should have to fake an orgasm. If I'm emotionally invested, I'll try teaching an old dog new tricks, but it's exhausting and a real time commitment. I disagree that you should never fake. There are different kinds of fakes.

The Pity OrgasmThe guy already has really low self-esteem and you're taking pity by trying to boost his confidence. No need piling on after mommy and the exes have done the initial damage. This guy is trainable. Typically they just want to please, but first they need the confidence booster.

The Get It Over with so I Can Go to Sleep Orgasm: This one's self-explanatory. If I have to employ this fake, I'm probably not going to see the guy much longer.

The It's Just Not Going to Happen Tonight Orgasm: You can't knock it out of the park every single time. You might be preoccupied, tired, whatever. It's not his fault, so why make him feel bad about not achieving climax when he so clearly enjoys being able to do that for you?

The We Both Had too Much to Drink and I'm Beginning to Sober Up Orgasm: Alcohol and sex are funny. A little loosens things up. Too much makes for one uncoordinated, sloppy mess. Belching is definitely not a turn on. This is a variation of the Getting it Over with Orgasm and is forgivable.

The Cry for Help Orgasm: This is standard operating procedure for the pre-orgasmic woman. She's never had another person bring her to climax (but is able to achieve it on her own). She likes the physical closeness of sex and fakes it because she doesn't know what she wants much less how to ask for it. Sad, sad creature...

Love your post, and while I recognize that I am in the vast minority, I don't believe in faking it--EVER! Seriously, why should a man or woman be led to believe that they are doing something good when they are really failing miserably? How will they ever learn?

I've been with men who thought they were the king, and I curse every woman (or man) before me that let them believe they were!
Now, there I am left to either walk away dissatisfied OR I have to put on my teaching gear and go to work, neither of which is particularly fun when you're hoping for satisfaction.

So ladies and men of the world, let's help each other out and share the trade secrets with one another.

Faking it is serving no-one.

Sorry to spill the beans, Amanda. Just couldn't help myself. Love the choreography line. Anyone else know any telltale signs???

Excellent point in the PS. Talk about choreography, Twyla!

Oh no, what did you have to go do that for?

P.S. If you two are "coming together" all the goddamn time, she's planning it that way so it's over and done with.