Do you keep breaking up and then getting back together? How many times have you done it? Be honest. If you’ve done it more than once, you are most probably addicted to the drama. Ask yourself these important questions:

1. Do you have the same arguments each time you break-up?

· Do you keep fighting about the same stuff? The day may be different, the circumstances not exactly the same, but the fight is still about money.

· If you closed your eyes, would this be the same argument you had yesterday? Are the words the same, the complaints the same?

· Do you find yourself getting angrier and more frustrated each time you fight? This means you are repeating yourself.

2. Do you take responsibility for any of it or do you think it is your partner’s problem?

· It takes two to do this dance. If you are dancing, you are part of the problem.

· Step up. Look at yourself. What are you doing to keep this going? What are you getting out of this?

· Until you take FULL responsibility, not half – only then will you begin to makes the changes you need to make.

3. Are you willing to do the work to change or do you just want to talk about it?

· Changing takes hard work and is initially uncomfortable. Unless you are brave enough to look at yourself, nothing will everchange.

· Constantly making excuses about your relationship is draining and depletes your self-esteem.

· Getting consensus for your point of view only serves to gratify your ego and does nothing to change your problem.

4. Are you addicted to drama?

· OK. Here’s the big one you need to honestly answer, and the way to truly get the right answer is to look at your life straight on.

· Do you have constant drama in your life? Because if you do – you are addicted to it.

· Your life doesn’t cause you have to have drama – it is just a life, no better or worse than anyone else’s. How YOU interpret your life, how YOU deal with it, that’s what determines the kind of life you have.

5. Are you getting weary?

· Constant breaking-up and getting back together is tiring.

· You lose your confidence and self-esteem. You keep saying you are going to do something and you don’t do. This has far-reaching effects and permeates every part of your life from your job to your relationship.

· You don’t look good and you don’t feel good. Look yourself in the mirror and have yourself a good talking to.

© 2009 by Chandra Alexander and Coaching for Authenticity, Inc. All Rights Reserved