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The Ugly Bug
Being a mom of two autistic children can have its challenges as well as its rewards. Today I am not here to talk about the challenges I am here to talk about the wonderful rewards of having a child of autism.
First a little history, my 14 year old was diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome in the fall of 2006 after many years of teachers and doctors assuming he was ADHD. Asperger’s Syndrome is the higher functioning aspect of autism. With asperger’s syndrome the child is faced with many social issues, they do not read body language like you and I do. Children who have asperger’s tend to read all the social clues we come to do by instinct the wrong way and not know the right way to respond. My youngest son who is 6 years old was diagnosed with autism in the fall of 2008. Both of these areas of autism come with learning disability challenges as well.
But I digress, I am not here today to tell you all about autism or explain more about it, you can find that type of research online. No I am here today to tell you about the wonderful things my children have taught me, which I would have otherwise missed out on.
When my oldest was in kindergarten we were running late for school, he had one of those mornings where he didn’t want to go to school, didn’t want to get out of bed that ended up turning into a huge battle to even get him to get dressed for the day. Mothers of autistic children will know that this is not the normal battle a mom has with a child who does not want to go to school, a battle that would chill even the most skilled veteran. Well we missed the bus and at that time we didn’t have a second car so I had to call my mother in law to take us to school. I was rushing him from the parking lot into the school when all of a sudden he grabbed my hand and told me to stop. I of course was upset and frazzled because we were already late for school, but he insisted that we stop to look at something he had found on the ground near the trees by the school building. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down till my face was near his face then he lightly grabbed my chin and directed it to the caterpillar he saw on the ground near a tree. “Look,” he said “One day that ugly bug will become a beautiful butterfly and will be able to fly. One day I will fly too.” Overcome with emotions I grabbed my son and hugged him. At that instant I realized that while others think of my son as “an ugly bug” he is actually a butterfly in the making, getting ready to grow his wings and fly off to do whatever it is he wants to do. They are dreamers, they are lovers and they enjoy and take in all the wonders of the world that are around us each and every day. If only we would stop and look at the world the way they do, we would realize what a wonderful place this world really is and how much potential we all have.
There are many more stories of love that my children have taught me that far out way all the daily challenges of raising an autistic child. My youngest love for me, while some days the demands can be hard to deal with, the constant attention he demands from me, no space to breathe for myself still on those days that I am feeling overwhelmed from the demand on me he will grab my face kiss it and tell me he loves me. Their hugs right at that moment I need that little bit of a reminder that I am loved, their kisses, and their joy in seeing things that we normally miss. All of these things are a reminder that just because they are “different” their differences are what make this world a new and joyous place on earth. So instead of focusing on the daily challenges, mishaps and struggles focus instead on the wonderful things your child can teach you. This message can be for any parent, not just parents of special needs children they are our future no matter what “challenges” they face. They are a gift to us to help remind us of all the wonders that are in this world for us to enjoy.
-Rebbekah Lynn White
http://www.healyourselftalk.com
http://www.healyourselfmagazine.com
As seen in Fall Issue of "The Indicator" Your Law of Attraction Quarterly Magazine
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That is a beautiful story. Although children can sometimes be very frustrating, they are worth every moment of it. Whenever someone is frustrated with their child, they need to take a second and remember the times like you mentioned. Great post!
Wow, I agree this is a beautiful story. I have a 3 year old son that often exhausts me but it is those perfect, sweet moments in all of the chaos that keep me going. Thank you for the wonderful reminder of the gifts we have as parents!
I love that story it was so beautiful. Yes all children are very hard sometimes but its the times when they say or do something that you love and in that moment you forget the past that were difficult.
What an absolutely beautiful story! It brought tears to my eyes. My only aunt was down syndrome. While others saw what was wrong we saw the joy of exactly who she was. Thanks so much for sharing your life!
I teared up, too. My boys are teenagers now, and I'll tell you, some days I want to pull my hair out! Then there's that moment, the moment when they surprise you with a kiss or a sincere "I love you, Mom", when they fall asleep on the couch and you get a glimpse of that little boy you used to rock to sleep. Nothing in the world can compare and I wouldn't give it up for the world. Thank you for this beautiful story!
I would definitely recommended this blog, it has such a lovely story and a loved it. I hope every one else loves it too it also taught me a lesson that it's not always bad to have a disabled child.
Thank you for the amazing story. It's hard sometimes with such a "difficult" child to remember the beauty of them as well. I'm glad you see it as well as you do.
This was such a heart warming story! With the business of everyday life - I think we all can learn something about this story. It only takes one person (man, woman or child) to remind us to see past the ugliness and look at the beautiful side of life! Thanks for the reminder!
That is such an inspiring and great story and I admire your desire to speak about the joys of parenting an autistic child. It is so easy to focus on the negative things but for you to also enjoy those special moments sends s powerful message to us all. I love how he said one day he will fly but that day he took on his wings and although I have never met him I know he is a handsome child. Anyone who calls him an Ugly Bug you let me know. I am sure they wouldn't want to deal with me when I get mad. I love defending those who can't defend themselves :) God bless your family and keep finding joys every opportunity you can.
What a wonderful heart felt story, every mom should read this, especially those that never get to walk a day in our life. The ones that give you the looks when you are having a hard time, the ones that whisper behind your back. They have no idea what our life is really like.
really a heart warming story , very inspiring . i crird while reading this . god bless them.
This is such a heart-touching story, and I enjoyed every paragraph of it. I think it's amazing how children with autism are so smart and appreciative of the small things that we fail to know or appreciate. I think you're an amazing parent for putting yourself through two children with autism, that says a world of things about you. If no one else can say it, I'll be happy to... You're an amazing parent, and never let anyone tell you different.
Kudos to you for focusing on the good aspects of parenting children with extra challenges. This was a wonderful story. I applaud all mothers but give standing ovations to those of you raising children with these challenges. Children I swear sometimes speak the words of God right to us. In our moments of dispair when we've screamed, cried, and sank to the floor resigned to sit and cry with our kids that they'll come over and sit on our lap just to cry with us. Or when they see us tired or crying they come over and offer a hug or like my son Dakota did the other morning his shirt sleeve to wipe the tears from my face. What wonderful gifts our children are and what a wonderful mom you are. Thank you for telling this beautiful story!
What a great story to share. My mother works with kids like this and has similar stories. We can learn so much from autistic kids, because they truly are such wonderful kids. They bring so much to the table, and besides lacking social skills, I think there morals and reasons are better than average humans. Thank you for sharing this story.
It's great that you are making the most out of what is certainly a stressful situation. Very nice and clever of your son to make that observation.
I really appreciate your work to bring out the inner feelings of special children in your blog post.Generally people don't find time to spend on these type of children who are mentally challenged, but contrary to it here is a great effort on your part being a mother of 2 such children, narrating the beautiful experiences you had with them. I fully agree with your view that they are the gift of God to us. It is an eye opener those people who think special child is a burden. Hats of to you madam for the work and I want every parents need to read this blog.
This is a beautiful post and it makes us realize that what some may view as something not so good is full of good. There are some special people in this world that can teach us an awful lot if we will take the time to listen.
Wonderful! Kudos to you and yours. I will say this: adults need to really learn from children. Children are born innocent and full of promise and love. They are animals that we domesticate and during that domestication we teach them how to be negative and positive. Each new experience forms them like modeling clay. Rejoice in their innocence and protect it and nurture it. Create children that will love not hate and respect not destroy.
It always surprises me that the most amazing discoveries with my children seem to come when we are completely frazzled or late or stressed! That is something we could learn from kids - the ability to look at life from another perspective. Or as my mom would say, to "stop and smell the roses."
That was great! I have no kids of my own but I work with disabled kids and they are great! I will definately keep this story in the back of my mind for the day when I have children of my own!
This is a great story! My little brother has Asperger's too. He has a lot of insight and genius to share. He's 18 already and extremely brilliant. Thanks for the great story reminding us how we all can grow wings and become beautiful butterflies!
I can connect with this. My oldest brother has CHARGE, a severe handicap. He doesn’t speak, cannot hear and sees only from a corner of his eyes. Despite the fact that it can be difficult at times, the joy and happiness he brought to the family supersedes all of the challenges. Despite the fact that he faces so many challenges and has had to go through so much, he may be the happiest person I know.
What a great and heartwarming story, thank you so much for sharing it.
Sharing stories like this one is what this place is all about. For those of us who never dealt with these issues, it's hard to understand that there could be joy in the midst of everything. My heartfelt best wishes!
This is a great blog. Thank you for writing about the positive aspects.
As a foster mother, I recently had, for 20 months, a little girl who most likely had Asperger's. I loved her so much, but she returned to her biological family finally. Your story reminded me of her!
Thanks for a wonderful post. Your story is very inspirational. I think it's so true that their is beauty in everyone, you just have to be open enough to see it.
27 Comments