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5 Ways To Overcome The Mistakes Of Your Past
Do you squander away the moments of your life in regret? Do past failures replay in your mind like an annoying tune? Do you wish you could relive a moment, armed with what you know now, and completely revolutionize the consequences?
If you answered yes to those questions, you're certifiably human. Because it's so intrinsically human to take an ill-fated path, all of us can identify with the feeling of remorse. No one escapes. Even Adam and Eve experienced regret, and sought to hide their shame. They chose to hide, but success in life requires that we show up, vulnerable, naked, and ready to confront our mistakes.
James Joyce once said, "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." This is the only way we can honestly approach mistakes in our past. If we don't discover anything from them, we aren't looking hard enough. It takes patience and a good dose of courage to be able to look for the good in your mistakes. Here are 5 ways to help you find success in life, by overcoming your past.
Where Did I Go Wrong?
This is the first and most crucial step in overcoming your past. You must identify what contributed to your mistake. This is the hardest part for most people, because it takes guts and introspection. Sometimes looking at yourself is like taking a kick in the stomach. It's not easy, and quite frankly, most never hold themselves responsible for the outcome of their lives. This is the truth: you are directly responsible for your consequences. If people are always victimizing you, it's because you allow yourself to be their victim.
There are two types of mistakes: those made out of misinformation, and those made from an unhealthy mentality. The former type of mistakes are easy to identify and cure. You chose to buy a red sports car, but did not realize it would raise your insurance premiums, and had you known that information, you would've made a different choice. That's an example of a mistake born from misinformation. You can identify where you went wrong, and how you will avoid similar mistakes in the future.
The latter type of mistakes, those stemming from an unhealthy mentality, are the harder ones to overcome. Discovering where you went wrong leads to discovering your guiding truths on that subject. For example, if you continually fall in love with the same type of person, and this relationship always descends into the same type of break up, you must figure out what is in you that's attracting this into your life. As Freud would suggest, this usually has a backing in your childhood.
Mistakes rising from an unhealthy mentality are always unconscious. It takes work to wake yourself up. If you're fortunate, a good mistake will be an alarm clock that jars you into consciousness.
I Forgive Myself
Roberto Assagioli supposed that "without forgiveness, life is an endless cycle of resentment." I can't think of one thing more draining than holding yourself or others in contempt for your past. Resentment is the posture of the powerless; forgiveness empowers us. It gives us the permission to nod at the past and turn our eyes toward the future.
Nodding at your past does not mean that you are happy with your choices, but it means that you honor it as a lesson. Life is always schooling us. Mistakes are our greatest teachers. Of course, you must allow your mistake to teach you, you can't pretend that it doesn't exist, because how will you learn?
Forgiveness begins with the simple decision to do it. It doesn't take $1000 and a two-day retreat in the mountains to find forgiveness. You can find it right now, while reading this sentence, with the simple assertion, "I forgive myself." Whenever tempted to recall the mistakes of your past, combat it with those three words. You may not believe it now, but you will believe it eventually.
Where Are My Friends?
True friends are the greatest asset for any overcomer. True friends are hard to get and hard to lose. A true friend will stick with you during your darkest moments, and inspire you to claw out of your pit.
A lot of times, we suffer in silence, keeping secret the shame of our past mistakes from those closest to us. Too often with others, we downplay or conceal mistakes in our past, but the only way to overcome your mistakes is to speak about them. This is where friends come in. There's no need to get over a loud speaker, proclaiming to the world your past mistakes. You can whisper to a true friend, and find healing and release. A true friend will never judge you.
If you don't have any true friends, seek out mentors who have made the same mistakes and triumphed over them. Your mistake is not original. You can read their words, if you don't have access to talk to your mentor personally. The market is saturated with books by people who have overcome mistakes similar to yours. Soak in the words, but don't let it end there. After you read, it's incumbent upon you to speak. Help someone else out who's suffering through your similar mistakes. Volunteer for an organization that mentors individuals who made the same mistakes as you. There are all sorts of organizations out there: from consumer advocacy to abstinence awareness. If there isn't an organization, start one! Create a voice, and overcome through your words.
I Am Different
As humans, we are always changing and developing into a different version of ourselves. You are not the same person you were 5 minutes ago. You're older, maybe hungrier, and the simple act of reading this article has changed your consciousness. The beauty of this present moment is the overwhelming amount of possibilities. You can choose your response. You're presented with these 5 ways to overcome your past. What will you do?
I Will Persevere
You cannot stop. Life goes by too quick to make allowances for pity parties. It's okay to take some time to collect yourself, and go through these steps, but don't allow yourself to get stuck on regret. It's unproductive and it won't change the past. What you're doing now is creating a new past for yourself. If you spend all of your time regretting the past, all you'll have is a past filled with regrets.
Jump into life full force. Don't try to live too carefully, because you're afraid of mistakes. Mistakes are not bad, they are lessons learned. Whenever a mistake knocks you off the path, get back up and start again. As long as you're alive, you have the power to press forward.
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"but don't allow yourself to get stuck on regret. It's unproductive and it won't change the past. What you're doing now is creating a new past for yourself. If you spend all of your time regretting the past, all you'll have is a past filled with regrets."
Loved it. Remorse..remorse..remorse..we have to use it for something..let it be something good
"Instants" Jorge Luis Borges
If I could live again my life,
In the next - I'll try,
- to make more mistakes,
I won't try to be so perfect,
I'll be more relaxed,
I'll be more full - than I am now,
In fact, I'll take fewer things seriously,
I'll be less hygenic,
I'll take more risks,
I'll take more trips,
I'll watch more sunsets,
I'll climb more mountains,
I'll swim more rivers,
I'll go to more places - I've never been,
I'll eat more ice creams and less lima beans,
I'll have more real problems - and less imaginary
ones,
I was one of those people who live
prudent and prolific lives -
each minute of his life,
Of course I had moments of joy - but,
if I could go back I'll try to have only good moments,
If you don't know - thats what life is made of,
Don't lose the now!
I was one of those who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer,
without a hot-water bottle,
and without an umberella and without a parachute,
If I could live again - I will travel light,
If I could live again - I'll try to work bare feet
at the beginning of spring till
the end of autumn,
I'll ride more carts,
I'll watch more sunrises and play with more children,
If I have the life to live - but now I am 85,
- and I know that I am dying ...
You're right. Life is too short for regret. Make your mistakes, learn from them and move on. You can't learn if you don't fail. I learned a lot from this blog.
Yes, I fully agree with the author's views. To err is human. To err is to learn the mistakes and improve further. Good friends are as he said hard to get and too hard to lose.
YOu are absolutely right, we always make mistakes but getting past those mistakes and moving on is the hardest. And friends your true friends are very hard to come by you always think they are your true friends until soemthing happens then you find out the real truth about them.
I think the most important point you made was "I am Different". It's good to keep in mind the fact that change is not bad; it's just different.
Wow! This article is so inspiring. Even though I have heard or read each of these points many times before, a person can never be reminded of them enough. No matter how many mistakes you are able to get past and learn from, each new one can still initially bring thoughts of self-doubt. It is so important to surround ourselves with people that remind us of these life skills. Thank you!
Thanks for a great blog! I agree 100% that life is too short for regrets. I honestly believe we experience things for a reason~ to learn and make us who we are.
Thanks, would definitely recommend this post, it taught me something very useful as there are many, many things in my past that I regret and I definitely think that this will help me!
I love the part about forgiveness. I think forgiving and moving forward is probably the hardest part, but the most rewarding.
There is no point in brooding over the bitter past. It is in no way going to help you. Live the present to the fullest. Repenting and worrying on the past can only add to your problems.
Another great blog! It's so hard to overcome your past, but these are some great tips! A few of them which I'll have to try out for myself as well!
I have learned to just let things go. Some things may take longer than others to let go but with time things that used to really upset me seems less important. To think of all the time and energy I've wasted on thinking about people who dont matter and the hurtful things they said or done - makes me crazy! You have to figure out whats relly important and focus on that!
What a great message from a blog. Everyone makes mistakes but what is important is that you learn from them, forgive yourself and move on. I have a way of taking the mess of my life and using it as a message for others. Sometimes our past failures will encourage others who think they can not do better to actually overcome mistakes in their past. Such a great blog!!
Great blog, so many get so caught up in what they did wrong that they forget to forgive themselves and to let the past go. I have to admit that the forgiving is the hardest part.
that is absolutely right ,thanks for the great post . i agree we have to learn from our past mistakes
I am one of those people who makes quick decisions. For example, I'll have my budget set on spending just $100.00. The I'll forget about it, while I'm shopping and end up spending double that. I'm regretting it the instant I'm putting it in the car to take it home to my husband, because I'm dreading looking at our checking account and seeing what kind of bind I've managed to put us in. I get over it, because you're right. Life goes on. I repeat those three little words to myself every time I get that regretful feeling.
What an excellent blog! I have been living in the the past for so long, I have forgotten what day it is. When I go to bed, it takes about an hour to fall asleep. I spend that hour reliving my past, if only I had or had not. Of coarse it is never resolved and serves no purpose. just a never ending movie of, if only I had done this or that. The hardest part is just forgiving myself, forty nine years takes a lot of forgiveness. But today is a new day, and maybe, just maybe, I can forgive, ME!
What a beautiful poet you are!! I say poet because that is what it takes of a person to be able to write things we have all heard before in a way that makes us aware of what we are reading and how it is affecting us, makes us sit up straight and hear what the words are telling us to do. Wonderful!! "Resentment is the posture of the powerless; forgiveness empowers us." How absolutely true this it. Words like this are like a rare jewel that should be held and looked upon in times of darkness to remind us that the beauty comes from within our sight not just from what we see. Again wonderful!
AH... Pearl... you have redeemed this site. Very nice. Very floral language with a good solid tone and statement. Well done.
You should be on that side bar getting the attention - not those idiot doctors...
I thought the five steps were well thought out and thoroughly described. Any troubled person would take something meaningful from this post.
An excellent article on dealing with your past. I too have regrets that sometimes get me down. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
It takes guts to say to complete strangers "this is how to learn from your mistakes". and It takes a good writer to do it in such a way that 100% of those strangers say "I agree". Well done.
I would add too that forgiving not only yourself but those in your past that have hurt you, and not letting bitterness from the past hold you back from what your future has in store is also crutial to moving forward.
Indeed a good blog.We cannot find any person who doe not commit any mistakes but the important thing is learning from those mistakes and make your future life safer. I think this concept is the foundation for scientific invensions. For a scientist every mistake is a stepping stone for his final goal. All the five ways explained are the best options to overcome from our past mistakes. I feel, if this strategy is applied by everybody in their life then life will become more enjoyable.
This post is really of great help to me. I myself is a victim of my past. I have been caught up with bad memories of my past. There were really times when I was very regretful of what I have done before. It is really true that regrets always comes at last. Through this post, I was enlightened that life must go on besides all of the mistakes I have done before. Great post! Keep it up.
I really agree with this blog. It opens up my mind to forget and forgive those who are involved in my past. Because of them, I am a better person now that I think first of all the consequences that I might encounter on the things and decisions that I will make. I learned so many things from my past that I always apply to my present life. Thanks to the author of this blog. You open up something on us.
Easier said than done... but i love it!
Yes you are right.. humans always do mistakes.. but the thing is he have to rectify theirs from past.. hats off to you for postingthis article.
VERY good pointers. So many people, myself included sometimes, live in the past and do not take the time to figure out WHY they are still living there. In order to learn from our mistakes, we must move forward. We must look at the mistakes closely and figure out what it is we were supposed to GAIN from those mistakes. Turn something negative into a positive.
Excellent blog! We all make mistakes, but not all of us learn and grow from them. Where would we be if we didn't get back up when we were learning to walk? It's important to attempt to avoid mistakes. However, when we do make them, we have to get back up. As mentioned in the blog, forgiving ourselves and support from our friends will result to be crucial in this undertaking.
The ability to forgive yourself and move on, is something many people never learn. It is a complex thing to contemplate, but simple to execute. Perseverance is not popular in our western culture, but it is the way to step past mistakes and continue on the journey of life. Thanks for the reminders!
I can really relate to this and really enjoyed this blog. I think it was really good to understand that it's o.k. to worry about the past a bit and that you have to focus on the negative's to more forward. I will definately use this method in the future because I am deal with this problem quite often. Again this was really helpful! Thank you!
This is really good. My mother let her regrets get the best of her at times and it made her life harder than it should have been. I find myself heading down the same path sometimes, and this article is an excellent wake-up call. Thank you.
This is a great blog with some excellent basic techniques to overcome the mistakes from your past. Learning from the mistakes is the most important part - discovering why you made the mistake in the first place, then moving on. Good work.
There is no time or use for regret in one's life. We learn our lessons when we do wrong, but beyond that...remaining in a negative state of mind will only lead to more trouble in the future.
I completely agree with your point of view. It's okay to look back, realize that you made mistakes, and learn from them, but you get nowhere and learn nothing by looking back and wallowing in self-pity for the mistakes you made. The past cannot be changed, so why focus on it? Focus on the lessons you can learn or have learned from that mistake, and use it to shape and brighten your future. Great post!
Thats what i had to do, forgive myself and then learn that over time I WILL persevre. It really is hard sometimes to accept yourself, because we are all different, Thanks for reminding me.
I just love these sentiments. I don't think there's anybody over the age of 50 who doesn't have regrets. I had not a one until that "golden age" - regret, that is. But this is truly a way to make them into something to be thankful for!
I agree with the poster who said "easier said than done." I also thought the wording was a little harsh at times, but a good read nonetheless.
reading this has helped me to put the past where it belongs...in the past...mistakes are something you can learn from and once its done its done theres no turning back so to think about the problem and overcome it is a very good healing process
forgive, and move on. Only that easy in theory.
that was absolutely right . I agree with the author's point of view. nice blog
yeah
I agree. Letting go of your past is the most freeing thing, and its the healthiest thing you can do for yourself mentally
this something that people from all walks of life deal with. great way to put feelings into words!
Great words! I will completely agree, letting go of your past is such a vital thing to do in order to move on. These are really good tips.
I have a very hard time forgiving myself when I screw up. I wake up thinking about it and can't let go. This blog is an eye opener!
My clarification is that you don't learn by making mistakes, you learn by understanding what made a mistake, a mistake. I heard this somewhere, "consider life as a movie being made, you are the director...there are no mistakes, just missed takes".
Good article. I have also made a life changing mistake, and it took me years to overcome the guilt and forgive myself. I like the quote "Some of us learn from other people, some of us are the other people."
We are too hard on ourselves. It would be great if we could forgive ourselves and get over things.
"You are directly responsible for your consequences." This is true when we make wrong choices and don't accept responsibility. I have a relative who got married to her 3rd husband and still has not accepted responsibility for her choice. No one pushed her down the aisle, for crying out loud. As a result, she's miserable and thinks she's a victim who has to suffer through life, constantly wanting others to feel sorry for her.
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