When to just say NO!
How do you tell the neighbor that you just don't want to look after there hyperactive toddler or a co-worker that just because you offered to help them out with some work doesn't mean you want to do the entire project for them?
Easy... NO, sorry, not possible.
We sometimes think by saying NO we are causing the other person to think negatively of us but that is untrue. It is our own insecurities about not being liked by others that prevents us from saying NO
Dr Linda Tillman mentions in an article she wrote, different types of NO's
- The unassertive NO, which is most commonly used. This is the NO usually followed by excuses and rationalizations of why the answer is NO.
- The aggressive NO. This No comes across as sarcasm with a hint of aggression.
The NO that we should all be striving for is the assertive NO...
This NO is direct without malice and an explanation is not needed unless you feel the desire to give one. To give someone an assertive NO, look into their eyes and let NO be the first word you express.
NEVER say yes when in fact you want to say NO as you will be making yourself miserable and doing a disservice to the person that asked you for help.