Excellent point! Everyone talks about men who are emotionally unavailable or who can't commit, but there are women like that also. The independence is a good thing, but can you have too much of a good thing?

I love your ending quote! Good one!

Great article, i agree to your points wholeheartedly. But in some corner of my mind, it says, beneath this all, people just want to loved, it doesn't matter about the gender, people just need love i guess.

This a good article. I agree with some of the points, although I'm not sure it's a convincing article that women are emotionally unavailable, as much as a personal account. That said, it's a well written article.

Very good article, I personally was emotionally unavaible when it came to realtionships. I found it hard to open up to my husband when we first met.

Great points, and yes when people think "emotionally unavailable" usually a man comes to mind. If you delve deeper, there is help and reasoning for those choosing to be with such people. Usually it's because they think they understand and can save them. It is rooted in childhood, like many of our other baggage, this one however is deeply implanted, and can be for a variety of different reasons. If you google the topic, quite a few books and sites offer advice on the subject.

Good subject. Boys grow up getting the impression that women are very emotional and that they yearn for emotional relationships that create a strong attachment. But, a man finds out that's not true. There's no shortage of women who cut men off emotionally, and create a barrier.

It isn't about gender when it comes to being emotionally available; it depends on the individual and his/her backgrounds. So many times, people tend to attribute certain qualities to men or women, but it's all about the individual. Great article.

I don't think being emotionally unavailable is a male or a female thing. It's just a human thing and when it comes to which gender is more emotionally unavailable, I bet it equals out. It's just that the media tends to paint men in that type of light. Thought provoking article, very nice.

It's interesting how with men being emotionally unavailable is a power issue and with women it's an neurosis issue. I don't like male emotions are often simplified and female emotions are convoluted. Good topic that deserves some exploration.

Stereotypically, men are the emotionally unavailable ones. Theoretically, it all depends on background, insecurities, and personality. I think if you're having trouble with connecting emotionally, do something that makes you comfortable. Many people connect emotionally in different ways. Some through writing, others through speaking, others through sitting and doing nothing.

It's annoying to me, when people claim that men are the only ones emotionally available. It's definately not true. I know several women, who are emotionally unavailable. I used to be one of them. People have different comfort levels, some things they're comfortable with sharing. And, others.. well, they'd rather not waste their time. Everyone is different, they've experienced different things in their life. Unfortunately, many of the people in this world don't know how to handle things. They believe it's just safer to close the world out. I've met several people who were emotionally unavailable. It was a pain the butt, but I've finally managed to get some of them to open up. This is a great blog, two thumbs way up.

I love this piece for a long time I was stuck somewhere in the middle. I needed a relationship but I was so closed emotionally. The only way I slowly got past my issues was to actively try and learn from every one and in every situation. I actively changed my self based on who I wanted to be and what I learned. I voted yes on this because it helps to show that women have as many issues with emotions as men.

What an interesting subject. I know several women who are emotionally unavailable in relationships. However I find these same friends say they chose this and life works better for them this way.

Why is it women have to be emotionally available? This is what has always bothered me. Men have the same emotions women do they just choose not to show them. I have wondered why men say they “bit the bullet”, “the old ball n chain” when they find that special person to share their live with. It’s alike they have still been programmed to think that way. I like this article it give a little perspective on “emotionally unavailable”.

I can relate to this article I have an equestrian facility that consists 95% of women. It would be fabulous if they were less emotional more rational. They were be happier and my business would be more sucessfull!

I thank your for opening up and being honest! Not all men are unemotional because I can say I don't fit that bill. Romantic or platonic is always a good mystery!

I dont think that all men are unemotional but I do think that a majority of men do not want to show feelings bc they want to remain "masculine" and macho. It is important to promote a certain image and sometimes feelings can compromise that. I personally would say that I am a lot less emotional that many others. I do know that sometimes it is to protect my image and other times, my mind just doesnt want to deal with the feeling.

Great article!

I didn't realize I was emotionally unavailable until I got with my current beau! He's very different from my last. He wants to cuddle all the time, he cant get in the bed without me being there! It's weird and I'm a loner at times and easily aggravated! I don't want him to think I don't care but sometimes his emotions are over the top! He thinks I'm heartless and that's not the case! Definitely recommend this!

I recommend this post. Good point! and my response to that is NO, women are emotionally unavailable too.

I am that emotionally unavailable wife! I have given my hubby the green light to leave me for this very purpose. I grew up in a " NO TOUCH" household and have programmed myself as such. This only carries with my husband, not my kids. I have to say that this is a tough battle for the emotionally "available" partner due to the fact that they are giving and not receiving. One thing to remember is that this is not an easy battle for the other person either, it KILLS us inside to not be able to show love/passion. We might as well be dead, that is what we are on the inside anyways.

For starters, accept that BOTH sides in fear of engulfment/ fear of abandonment dance come from childhood trauma. Independence and fear of engulfment are not the same things! People with fear of engulfment need help as well, if not more than those with fear of abandonment. Independent person has lots of positive to bring to any relationship, abandoner creates unnecessary drama and then blames everyone else but him/herself for consequencies.