My story

Posted by Rosa on November 30, 2008 12:18 PM PST

Tags: despressed, family problems, suicide, tips

Recommend this? YES NO

Okay here is my story.

A few years ago my sister told me that she had been thinking about committing suicide. I was totally in shock and didn't know how to react to this so I didn't say anything, not to her and not to anyone else. After she told me I was depressed for a long time. My school results where horribly bad, I unaware started to ate my grief away and was gaining a lot of weight which troubled my sport performances. Altogether it was going bad. But nobody could help me because the didn’t know what was going on because I hadn't told them. After a couple weeks my sister got admitted into the hospital at the psychiatry department not because she or I told someone that she wanted to commit suicide but for other reasons. She cut school and she just staid at home all day. My parents got angry at her everyday and we basically woke up with hearing my parents jell to my sister and went to bed with hearing them jell. My parents and my sister got to the agreement that she would go to the hospital where they would tried to find out what was wrong with her.
This didn’t make things better for me. Not only was I still walking around with this big secret but my big sister wasn’t at home anymore.

One day the dean of my school came to me with the question if I wanted to see the school social worker. I said yes. So I went to the first session and the first thing I did was cry like an idiot. I didn’t tell her about the secret. I was to afraid that when someone knew my sister may be declared crazy and she would go to a madhouse or something. I know now that would never happen but at that time I was sure of that to happen if I told anyone.

An half year went by and the summer vacation started. It got better with my sister and we began to become a normal happy family again. When the vacation was over I had one more session with the social worker and again I started to cry like an idiot but this time it was because I had decided to tell her the secret. So after a half hour crying I told her and she said: ‘I kind of figured’. I told her that I didn’t know how to deal with it and she said that I had to talk about it with her and she gave me some tips:

1. Try to figure out if she still thinks about it.

2. Try asking her if she really wants to do it.

3. Ask her if she has already thought of a way how she would do it.

This helps you to know if she really wants to commit suicide or if it’s a cry for help. So one day I asked my sister if she still thought of it and she said: ‘NO, I don’t want to die’. It turned out to be that she just wanted my help. So if I had talked about it with her that day I would have known that she just needed help from me. And than I could have given her that help.

Rosa

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18 Comments

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I recommended this blog. It took a lot of guts to say what you said throughout this paper, that is really respectable. I myself had to see a social worker, its best to just tell them everything you can, but its sometimes hard. Dont worry you did nothing wrong.

Nice blog. Your experience might be able to help others that come into the same position. I know I wouldn't know what to do if I had been in that situation.

I liked this blog, not only because it takes courage to post something so personal, but also because you passed on tips that may help save someone's life. kudos.

I think this was an informative and heart-felt blog. I applaud you for your courage and desire to pass on the tips and help others.

Thank you for sharing the often overlooked effects on people around you, when you yourself are suicidal. The tips are excellent as well.

thanks for all the great comments.

You are so brave to let us all share your story. Many people will be helped by your honesty.

Your blog proves the point that when things get that bad you really need just need to talk it out and have someone listen. I've been where you were, and where your sister has been, so it's easy to say that holding something like that is extremely hard, and at the same time its very easy to put the weight on someone else. I can only imagine how much it took to share your story, and you will help alot of people.

thanks. i just needed to throw it out. i couldn't keep it to myself anymore. thanks again for the comment

Thank you for this blog. At the moment my boyfriend is severely depressed and has tried to hurt himself, so i found this very helpful. Great job.

Thanks so much for sharing this. This is such a huge topic to be able to help the ones you love. Honestly, if my siblings came to me like that, I would keep it in too, and this blog taught me a lot about situations like these. Open communication is so valuable! Thank you for your post!

I am sorry you are going through this and I hope that your sister continues to be OK. Perhaps in a future blog post you can put some additional links for people who have family that suffer from mental illness.

This is a very hard thing to go through, I know from personal experience. It's not easy having such a burden on your shoulders. This situation can make you feel a lot of different things, especially helpless. It takes a strong person to write everything you've written in this blog, and for that I give you super kudos. This article is great to refer to someone who doesn't know how to react to a suicide threat. Job well done, Dear.

It's too bad that you had to shoulder that burden while your sister (seems to have) only spoke about suicide in passing to get your attention. If you are faced with a similar situation again please find someone you can trust and confide in them. Some warning signs that a person may be serious about suicide are giving things away, making a will, spending wildly, and being agitated or hyper all the time.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am very glad it all turned out OK for you. If this ever happens again please share it with someone you trust. It is a large burden to carry alone.

I'm glad to hear that everything turned out well. It could have turned out so much worse. I find that most people that actually think about suicide dont actually talk to anyone until its to late. Thank you for the advice on what to do if someone tells you they want to commit suicide. I will definitly remember them for the future.