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Lesbian bed death?
I have been with my girlfriend going on seven years. We met when I was 15. We where friends first and about a year after we met we started dating. I didn't know I was gay but the more I hung out with her the more I realized that I was, even though I was head over heals for my best friend of four or five years (a girl). So now seven years later I am out and proud. I love her like crazy but sometimes I feel like I haven't lived my new found life. We don't have sex anymore. Tottaly not her fault it's mine. Am I just not into her sexualy anymore? But I can't bring myself to tell her that. Now don't get me wrong it's not all about sex. I love her like crazy but doe's not "wanting" to have sex mean I only love her like a friend or what? I don't know it's kind of confusing. So if there is anyone out there who could give me some advise I would like to hear it. Thanks in advance.
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Not wanting to have sex does not mean that you do not love her like you used to do. When you're first with someone, things like that can be a lot of fun. But the longer you stay with someone, the more comfortable you are with them. I think you know you love her and that is what matters more than anything. I would take being comfortable in a stable relationship over anything else.
No, maybe you've just lost the spark. When you first get with someone you want to spend every second together and you can't keep your hands off each other, then after awhile you cool down. Maybe you've just cooled down. Try to spark things up a bit and maybe things will get better.
Maybe because she was your first lesbian relationship you feel like you've been ripped off, but if you still love her it may just be that you want more experience, mind you this is just speculation. First of all I would tell her if it lasted more than a week or two, but that's me. She would want to know and she will want to help, and if she doesn't then it wasn't right anyway. You may want to try new things or threesomes if that's how you roll. Mix it up and you may find that the fire was never gone, it just needed some prodding. Good luck, I hope it works out.
They call it lesbian bed death for a reason. Experiment! If you love her, you love her. Maybe you just need new experiences and time apart, or maybe you just need to try some new twists on old fun and re-liven up the bedroom!
You have to figure out if you are bored with the sex or bored with her. It is possible you have fallen out of love. You are young, you have probably grown up a lot in the last 7 years. Maybe you two would be better of as friends now? Or maybe you are just bored with the sex and need to find some things to do to liven up your bedroom time?
I think everyone experiences some sort of downward spiral in the bedroom especially if you've been together for a long time... spice things up buy playing out some fantasies that you both can enjoy... Sex is fun and if it stops being fun incorporate a new game
I don't think that's a problem. After a few years in a relationship your sex life will dwindle. I think that if you have a loving relationship and you're happy then you're fine. Unless she's not ok with not having sex. And if it doesn't work out because of the sex then salvaging the friendship sounds like it would be worth it. Good luck!
You can have a loving, committed relationship without sex being a part of it. You just need to have a conversation between the two of you to figure out how much sex really means to both of you. If it's not terribly important, just be happy. If it is, but you don't want to really have sex with each other, you should see if you're both willing to let the other possibly pursue it outside of the relationship. There is no perfect answer though.
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