I highly recommend reading the book "He's Just Not That Into You," by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. The advice works for anyone, female or male, who might be wondering IF they are in the right relationship. Of course, I also recommend that one looks into their own patterns, and corrects any behaviors that really no longer serve their highest good. If you've done that, and still there are no changes, then it's time to leave.

I love what you said and how you said it Even and yes that book "He's Just Not That Into You" is wonderful and a fun read. I think Evan said it so well though because a lot of women might be making excuses because they also perhaps don't know what a healthy relationship ought to look like and this is the best thing they have experienced so far. As tough as it is to cut the loss and move on, it's better than being hurt and letting a lot of time go by before you cut the guy loose. There are woman for sure that play the same game. I think being really honest about what one wants and taking actions consistent with that is key. It can be tough but it is usually better to walk away sooner rather than later.

Brad Pitt, George Clooney?! WOW....I want to be with a emotionally unavailable man. If it involves sleeping with those hot boys!

Oh girls *sigh*, you make things harder than they are!

As a woman, this scenario has always driven me nuts. I'm a straight-forward kind of gal, so I know when and when not to become involved with a guy. I would love to share this advice with some of my female friends. I tell them time and time again, but they just don't get it. Maybe, if they see it coming from a man, it might drive the point home.

Also, thanks for recommending "He's Just Not That Into You." It sounds interesting and I'll have to check it out.

Great advice from a man's point of view! I totally get being fed up with that same old drama from some of my girlfriends. Why's it so obvious to the rest of us that it's a losing proposition?

Haha, I have to say that it is in my dreams to have a threesome with George Clooney and Brad Pitt. =) Whether it's an emotionally unavailable man or woman, if two people want to have a healthy relationship, they must be at the similar place in life. I think it's fine for two people to have just "fun" relationship both in the same page and knowing that it will not go any further into marriage. But you are right in the sense that it's usually men who are emotionally unavailable.

I was in a 2 year "friendship" with an EU, suffice to say heart broken due to no commitment. Was in hiatus for one year and realized that I had a pattern with EU relationships. I have my own intimacy issues and its so easy to blame others for it. I am back with him "for sex" missed the once a week affection time. It meets the need on some level while working on my intimacy issues and seeking men who can be emotionally available for a real relationship.

No.

But careful when you walk away. That looks attractive to the very disturbed and then he may revive interest in you until he gets you back.

i loved it when you Said
If he follows, you’ll know you’ll have yourself a boyfriend who values you and will follow you to the end of the earth. That is what you deserve.
If he doesn’t, then he’s not all that serious about keeping you in his life, is he?
but this kind of person do come back and just hide whenever they feel. in that situation WHAT 2 DO? hide or say hello. i am so very confused.

Does depression and ptsd make a difference to the situation regarding men who are e u ?? I don't know if I should keep waiting for things to change, but 80% of the time, it's arguing he creates

I meet a man who I cannot say if he is emotionally unavailable or he is gay. I could not really distinguish between the two because later when I know him I found some annoying gay signs. I am then asking myself, was I too lonely to think that he is after dating me or was he just being friendly because he was alone and need a friend, or was I so needy at one point which made him ditch me?

I meet a man who I cannot say if he is emotionally unavailable or he is gay. I could not really distinguish between the two because later when I know him I found some annoying gay signs. I am then asking myself, was I too lonely to think that he is after dating me or was he just being friendly because he was alone and need a friend, or was I so needy at one point which made him ditch me?

I just got out from 'a relationship' with emotionally unavailable man. He was the most amazing seducer I have ever known. Charming, attentive, romantic, full of future plans...all that at the beginning of the relationship. He swept me off my feet :-). After two months when we got intimate I saw that something was wrong. He would not hug me and showed no affection afterwards. He told me that he needed more time to open up. I gave him more time - huge mistake. Nothing changed really and if so only to worse. I felt being treated like his personal prostitute. I ended it up and yes it was painful. It was not easy to break up with him - pretty much like to get out of a drug habit. Toxic, addictive, unhealthy relationship that did not make me happy. Yet, it was very difficult to leave.

I really need some advise...I just ended a relationship with an EU man. I'm so confused. We had a 2 year phone relationship and finally met and things seemed good. We had fun together, became intimate, our children met each other and loved spending time together. I finally texted one night on the brink of a nervous breakdown and said I'm too hurt, I can't do this anymore. Then I deleted him from FB. At the time I didn't know he was EU. However, all the signs were there, I just didn't know to look for them, but I was definitely feeling them. He was also chatting with a married woman which was the thing that pushed me over the edge since I've been in several relationships where I was cheated on. He texted and I didn't respond for a day then I emailed him a list of why I was hurt. He called angry and said we were just friends now...no intimate times. However, he still calls everyday. He seems angry a lot on the phone. I'm so confused. Is he calling because he doesn't want to lose me, is he calling out of guilt (do EU guys have guilt?), what is going on??