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Know any Manipulative People?
Drama is what people who lack substance do
to manipulate others to get their way in the short run,
but causes others to stop respecting them
and avoid them in the long run.
How to deal with manipulative people.
Use the Principle of Fair and Reasonable
- Make a list of the manipulative people you know. They are the ones who will always become dramatic (or bombastic, sullen, belligerent, etc.) whenever they want to get their way or get out of doing something they don’t want to do. With people you don’t know, they are the ones that will cause you to have a knot in your stomach within minutes, if not seconds.
- Don’t interrupt them and let them “punch themselves out” verbally. This might take some time, but eventually they will stop talking.
- Pause after they stop and say, “Hmm.” This will communicate you’re thinking about what they’ve said and considering it…and will make them feel anxious because they will sense that you’re on to them. And say, “Hmm” in a way that begs the question from them, “What are you thinking about?”
- In a measured, calm voice say, “I was just thinking about whether what you are asking is fair and reasonable to me, because if it is, I’ll be happy to oblige. However even if it’s not, I might still do it, but then of course it’s a favor and you’ll owe me one now or at a time of my choosing in the future.”
- Here’s where it becomes fun. Watch them puff up, possibly have their neck veins turn red and eyes start popping as they indignantly retort: “Don’t do me any favors!” and stomp out.
- To add icing on the cake you might say as they leave: “Well if it’s important to you and you’d like to exchange favors in the future, feel free to talk with me again.”
Not only will you feel triumphant after beating a manipulative person, you won’t have to go out and have a smoke, eat something bad for you, or kick the dog that you usually do when such a person gets the better of you.
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I don't know if I agree with your word choice. The person ranting and raving to create drama isn't being manipulative. Petulant, certainly, but not manipulative. If you respond to that person by manipulating his emotional reaction to beat him, then you're the one being manipulative.
I found this to be quite funny. I know a lot of people who are like the way you have described.
I think if you took this advice seriously and were maybe a less harsh, you could cure a manipulative friend. They would realize that their tactics just aren't working. If they want to keep the relationship they have to shape up or ship out.
I think that this article is probably to be taken "with a grain of salt". While the advice is extremely helpful, and useful, use your own words and ideas in place of the authors. After all, the advice is amazing, but the tone is sarcastic :)
I'm not sure if this article was serious or joking, and I can see why it's important to stand up for yourself, but this is not really practical. First of all, it's difficult to assess if you're being manipulated, and you don't want to ruin a relationship. Honestly, I really don't like the content of this article, even though I realize that this has good intentions.
While I'm not sure this is not applicable to all those manipulative people, it sure is fun to do. I think the gist of it is just not put up with their B.S. and stand up for yourself. That advice certainly applies to a lot.
I don't like some of the words used in this article. Granted, throwing a fit is dramatic, but it's not manipulative. People have a choice to do what they want. Chances are, if someone's acting like a fool, they're going on ignore them and just leave it be.
Now being manipulated is a completely different thing from being dramatic. I can't stand people who try to manipulate you. Someone doesn't manipulate you by throwing a fit. They do it by lying and deceiving you. That's my opinion.
The fact of the matter is you should stand up for yourself and never back down. I have a bad habit of being a push-over, and I've learned how to stay no and stop taking crap off people. It's about time that other people do the same.
Ok I have to admit this struck me as very funny. I have a "drama" person in my life. I pictured her in this scenario. I can't SAY ITHINK IT WOULD GO WELL. THOUGH IT SURE DID MAKE ME LAUGH.
Like the person above, when I think of those people who are most likely to fit in that category I don't see it going well haha. I feel like if I could get away with it I would love to go for that technique, I have a huge revenge problem. I typically feel like I'm going to explode when I have to give in to manipulative people in my life. However, what happened to compassion? Is this only because, at a certain point, manipulative people deserve no compassion? Wouldn't it be better to host a small manipulative intervention?
Yes I do have a few people in my immediate family that are like that. That is exactly how they behave. All belligerent and have no idea what they are saying. I have repeated what one of my family members said to me and they said that is sounded crazy coming from me. I had repeated what they said in a calm fashion and they were like all shocked at how dumb it sounded. Next time they speak to me like that they know that they better be ready, because I will call them on everything that they say. I keep telling people, mean what you say to me and don't talk out the side of your face.
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